I hear stories from family caregivers about how exhausted they feel, how hard it is to concentrate and how surprised they are when they forget where they put the car keys or why they walked into a room. This seems especially true when juggling the care of children and an older relative. At that point, two questions come up - one is how "do I make time for myself?" and the second is "what can I do to take care of myself, in mind, body or soul?" I spoke with someone recently who found an answer when she joined a walking support group with her neighbors. Taking my dog out for a walk has been one of the things to help me. What has helped you to find time for yourself and take care of yourself?

I put a no "No matter what" in my day, that I will take a specific amount of time at a specific time in the day, just for my alone time. If the kids are home, they observe quiet time also, watching a movie or hanging out in their rooms. It's my time to rest and gather my thoughts without dealing with this issue or that. Everyone has come to respect that time of the day over the years! There are days when iy occasionally doesn't happen, but for the most part, it's a priority in our house.

Jolene,
Carving out time for yourself each day and sticking to it "no matter what" is a great approach! I imagine that this can be a difficult thing to do, especially when you are first getting your family adjusted to the routine, but the pay-off is worth it! What are some of the benefits that you, and others who do this, have experienced as a result of this commitment to yourself?
Best,
Mary

Yes, you must start somewhere, even if it is once a week! It wasn't easy at first with my family. It was something that I had to do. It was well worth it. The benefits are; 1) Everyone learned not to be so dependent on just me. 2) It brought the healing that my body needed so I had more energy for other family activities. 3) When I get time alone and a few minutes to think clearly uninterupted, I get a chance to really think through priorities and home runs smoother. Some things just aren't really that important when you get a few minutes to look at the big picture. It has truly brought some order and routine into a once chaotic home. We have all benefitted me taking time for myself!

Thanks for sharing these points, Jolene. For those just starting out remember that setting limits is challenging at first, especially when this is a major change in routine, but hang in there and keep the benefits Jolene noted in mind. And remember there are many more. Many caregivers I speak with note that they feel much more peaceful in their daily lives. They also feel they are better caregivers when they set limits because they are able to give more fully to their loved one after giving to themselves. A great article on this topic can be found at http://www.strengthforcaring.com/manual/stress-relief-stress-management-tips/setting-limits-as-a-caregiver/. I will also post this in the Resources section for a direct link.