Did you sit them down to talk about it? Did you discuss it at all?

Yes, we told our daughter because we felt she deserved to know. We also bought her a book to help explain how she can make small changes to assist her with success. Our daughter is also gifted, and in usual fashion, she would ask us questions after each appointment and test that she took. Kids that have this condition are aware that something is different about them. Talking about it helps them to cope.

I have a similar situation, my son is very bright and quite aware he is different. We found this website to be helpful http://www.aacap.org/cs/ADHD.ResourceCenter/adhd_faqs. My son was relieved and happy because finally we knew what the problem was and could begin to make it better.

Thanks everyone.

Barbara- that website is great! Thank you! How old was your son when you went to the doctor?

Thanks everyone for sharing! I am curious as to the ages of your children when you told them? Did you have professionals guiding you through this (timing, etc).

My son was 8 when he was diagnosed and put on Adderall and into counseling once a week. Before that he spent a lot of time in the principles office. He would get so frustrated that he would hit or scratch other kids. There was always two completely different stories too. The kids would say "we were playing this game and Ethan was the dragon..." Ethan would say "They were all running from me and they wouldn't let me in the room..." We realized somewhere along the way Ethan missed the part about the object of the game or that it was his turn to be the dragon. Once he was diagnosed we sat down and talked about it and treatment options, now there was a logical reason for the frustration and he felt much better about himself, kids want know as much as we do...there is nothing worse than not knowing. Once you know what the problem is you can begin to fix it.

I've never told my son...he will be 9 soon and was diagnosed a year and a half a go. He's never been on meds or in therapy. At the time he was a straight A student, but his grades have been slipping since. He's not failing, but comes close in some of his classes. All of it has to do with focus so I know that medicine is in his near future. I feel like if he knows he has an actual diagnosis, he will use it as a crutch. I am a fourth grade teacher and it kills me to hear my students say, I didn't have my medicine...like they have no control. Whenever he gets meds, I will just tell him that they will help him focus but stress to him that he is responsible for his actions. There is a book called Smart, but Scattered that was suggested to me...has anyone read it.

We explained to our son that he has a condition and ADHD is what's its called. We then explained that everyone has some condition about them but his was more obvious then others. He did try to use that I didn't take my medicine so therefore I can b out of control but we caught that early on and explained that the medicine is there to help you not to control you. Over the yrs which it's been 4 he has a better understanding of it all! He's now 10 he was diagnosed at 6.

The way we explained it to our kids was by comparing ADHD meds to training wheels on a bike. The meds add stability and support and hopefully they will be able to focus on their own without the meds someday.

On Feb 15, 2012, at 7:59 PM, "Angela C." <familywithADDorADHD@groups.care.com> wrote:

>

I'm new here. Just joined today as a matter of fact. : )

I have two kiddos with ADHD, my oldest who is now 13 and my youngest who is 8. I wanted to tell my oldest when he was 9 years old but my husband was against and felt he wasn't ready. I haven't told my youngest yet.

What prompted me to go on and tell my oldest was when one day when he was 11 years old, he came home and was laughing and telling me how the kids were all laughing at this new kid in their 5th grade class who was acting "all ADHD." I was horrified (to say the least). I asked him if he was laughing too and he denied that he was. Then I asked him if he knew what ADHD was. He had some weird definition that he had gotten from his peers. I told my husband then that I was going to tell him and immediately began to think about how was the best way.

Anyhoo, long story short, I wound up checking out this book from our local library (that we eventually purchased) called, "Cory Stories: A Kid's Book About Living with ADHD" by Jeanne Kraus. I read the book to him and he totally recognized himself before we got halfway through the book. This turned out to be the best way to tell him. He was a little stunned at first that there was actually a name for what made him "different" and that the name was attached to the negative interaction he witnessed at school when the other kids were saying the new kid was "acting ADHD." But we talked about it extensively and he was relieved in the end that he knew.

My youngest has ADHD and a PDD. He is so literal so at this point I wonder if the same method of revealing his ADHD will work for him (reading him the book). He is no where near ready to hear this so I feel we have some time but he has a different personality from my oldest so we might have to do something different for him. We'll see...

In any case, I'm really glad to be here and hope that I can take advantage of the support here among parents and adults with something in commong (ADHD).

Thanks for reading.

I agree. We have been open with our kids about everything. It is hard sometimes to talk about it with the teacher but we supply them with educational material and tips and tricks to handle different situations. Our boy knows what his issues are and we help him understand that they can be conquered with effort on his part. He embraces suggestions to improve, some times he cry's but most of the time he is proud that he overcame his problems. Every time he conquers his problems he is becoming a stronger person. My boy is very smart and will sometimes use his ADHD as a excuse not to complete a task but we handle those instances with reassurance that he can accomplish anything with a little extra effort. Don't get me wrong it has been an enormous effort on our part to sift through all the bad information and develop a process that works for our son. Honesty is the best policy.