my mom dementia has progressed too far to live in an assisted living,
yet, she is with it in the moment (plays scrabble/bridge) and
observant with a high vocabulary. I feel that placing her in a memory
care situation is wrong. I see so many folks in memory care places that
are much farther along with AD. mom seems to be in limbo...and is in
between these 2 kinds of senior living options. if someone else has the
same situation, please advise. for now mom is in her home with my support.

Hi Suzette,

Since dementia manifests itself so differently in each individual--and at a different rate--it can be hard to know what care is best for our loved ones (as you are experiencing). You do have options. There are many assisted living facilities with dementia units. Your mom may be assessed by the staff as appropriate for living in the non-dementia unit of the assisted living, but she can attend the activities in the dementia unit each day. When she really needs the support of the dementia unit around the clock she would then be able to move in there at that time.

Another option is to hire caregivers to assist at home. You can hire private caregivers or those from an agency that have experience working with individuals with dementia. That way you are not handling all of her needs on your own. This can become very expensive as a long term plan, though, if your mother eventually needs twenty four hour supervision.

When in doubt talk to experts. You can speak to our Senior Care Counselors by going to http://www.care.com/scc or calling 877-922-7314 or find your local Area Agency on Aging via the Eldercare Locator http://www.eldercare.gov. And, of course, the Alzheimer's Association http://www.alz.org.

Let us know if you have more questions.

Good luck,
Mary