What to Do If Your Child Hates the Nanny

If you’ve determined your child has a chemistry problem with their nanny, what should you do? Here are tips for dealing with this delicate situation.

See 5 Signs Your Child Hates the Nanny 

1. Decide What the Problem Is
   First, take your child’s concerns seriously, and try talking to her about her dislike of the nanny. Don’t brush off or dismiss complaints; address them. Perhaps your child is upset with the new routine or because the nanny doesn’t fix a favorite snack. If that’s the case, work with your nanny to address all the needs your child has. Sometimes a simple fix makes all the difference.

2. Make Sure There Isn’t a Bigger Problem
   You want to make sure your child always feels safe and loved. Is your nanny giving your child the type of care that you want? Is she stricter than you and your partner are?

   If you haven’t talked with your nanny about things like your child care philosophy and what type of punishments are allowed, have this conversation now. Fill out these nanny rules to get started.

3. Be Present
   If possible, come home from work early one afternoon or pop in during your lunch break to observe how the nanny interacts with your child. “Let the nanny and your child know you’re home, then head off to another nearby room that’s close enough that you can listen to how the nanny talks to your child,” suggests Becky Kavanagh, co-president of the International Nanny Association.

   Don’t stay in the same room, as it might be distracting to your child and could hinder how the nanny interacts with your child.

   Or try these 8 Ways to Check In On Your Nanny.

4. Talk to Your Nanny
   Kavanagh says that parents should be honest with the nanny as they work through problems. “Tell your nanny, ‘I’m getting a reaction from my child,'” she suggests. “The nanny has probably noticed the child’s behavior, too.”

   Ask the nanny if she has noticed anything odd and brainstorm what you should do about it.

5. Make a Change — as a Last Resort
   If your child still expresses dislike for the nanny, consider hiring a new one — though Kavanagh says this route should be a last resort. Parents should try to work with the current nanny first.

   Former nanny Lindsay Gillis, of From Nanny to Family, agrees that replacing the nanny is a complex subject. Hiring a nanny your child doesn’t like might be avoided during the interview process. “If you interview a prospective nanny correctly, you’ll find someone whose values line up with yours. It’s actually challenging to interview someone, as you also need to make sure they will click with the family.”

By listening to your child, you can determine the root of your child’s dislike for the nanny and take the appropriate steps to find the solution that will work for everyone.

Megan Horst-Hatch is a writer, mother, runner, baker, gardener, knitter and other words that end in “-er.”