As children grow, one of the most important things they learn is how to interact with others. While playing together with friends is a big part of this, there’s another type of play that also helps kids develop socially— parallel play. This is when children play next to each other but not necessarily with each other. Though it might sound trivial, parallel play is important for helping young children develop physically, socially and emotionally.
Dr. Priya Thomas, pediatrician and founder of Mindful Pediatrics and Adolescent Care from Johns Creek, Georgia says, ”Parallel play encourages children to develop an awareness of others while still engaging in their own activities.” Thomas notes the results of parallel play are foundational for building skills children will need as they grow older.
Here we’ll explore the many ways parallel play contributes to a child’s development, from enhancing communication skills to promoting empathy and independence.
What is parallel play
Dr. Steven Abelowitz, founder and medical director of Ocean Pediatrics in Orange County, California says parallel play differs from other types of play, such as cooperative play or solitary play.
“Cooperative play has children interacting with one another, and in solitary play, they will engage without being in physical contact with other children,” says Abelowitz. “With parallel play, children play side by side and not with each other,” he adds.
When do children start playing in parallel?
Abelowitz says parallel play is a unique activity that usually emerges when a child is between 2 and 3 years old. He notes that some children, however, can start parallel playing as early as 18 months and continue this type of play up to 4 years of age.
Thomas says that by observing each other, children in early childhood often start to imitate behaviors, especially when they see a peer having fun with a toy. “This observation and mimicry are foundational for building social skills and emotional intelligence,” she says.
Benefits of parallel play
The experts we spoke with agree that parallel play has social, emotional and cognitive benefits that set the stage for future developmental milestones.
Social and emotional development
Abelowitz says parallel play allows children to engage with peers without the pressure of direct interaction, boosting their confidence and comfort in social settings and encouraging social and emotional learning. He adds that parallel play provides a space for children to learn from others, mimic behaviors and gradually build social skills at their own pace.
Yamely Valido, a parent of two from Leeds, Alabama says she observes this behavior in her 2-year-old son, who is shy compared to his older sister. “He needs a warm up, and parallel play gives him that space to do that without the social pressure of playing with other kids,” she says.
Language and observational learning
Dakari Quimby, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles says parallel play helps improve language development without the need for direct interaction.
“By playing near each other, children overhear conversations and are exposed to new vocabulary and sentence structures,” he says. “Observational learning plays a role here too, with children picking up behavioral and language cues from others,” he adds.
Motor skill development
Abelowitz says engaging in parallel play with toys helps children practice and refine both fine and gross motor skills. Whether stacking blocks, drawing or running around, these activities contribute to physical development through hands-on play.
Boundary awareness and empathy
Playing near others without directly interacting teaches children to respect personal space and boundaries, says Abelowitz. He adds, ”While observing others playing, children can foster empathy as they start to understand different perspectives and emotions.”
Independence and confidence
Thomas says parallel play lets children observe peers while still making individual choices. “They gain a sense of autonomy in a social context, promoting self-directed decision-making while gradually understanding group dynamics,” she says.
Elizabeth Fraley of Kinder Ready Inc. and Elementary Wise, Los Angeles-based education programs focused on kindergarten readiness, says parallel play helps set children up for success in cooperative play, and gives them the confidence they need to take on more complex social interactions. “Through parallel play, children copy each other, which indicates they’re ready to engage together,’’ says Fraley.
Parallel play examples
Here are a few examples of how children can play in proximity and observe each other.
- Building blocks: Two children sit side-by-side, each with their own set of blocks. They build separate structures but may observe what the other child is building.
- Drawing or coloring: Kids sit next to each other, each drawing or coloring their own picture, sometimes peeking over to see what the other is creating.
- Sand play: In a sandbox, one child might dig with a shovel while another builds a sandcastle nearby. They don’t work together, but they’re aware of each other.
- Pretend cooking: Two children imitate preparing foods in the same play kitchen, each making their own “dish” without interacting, yet they notice each other’s pretend play.
- Doll play: Children might interact with separate dolls, each dressing up and playing with their own doll while taking breaks to glance at the other child’s actions.
- Puzzles: Two children work on separate puzzles side-by-side, focusing on their own but they can also observe each other’s progress.
Tips for encouraging parallel play
Children learn through play — here the experts we spoke to shared strategies for supporting parallel play specifically.
- Set up side-by-side stations: Quimby recommends play spaces like a shared sandbox, big drawing papers or play kitchens next to each other to allow children to engage independently, yet close to one another.
- Provide a variety of options: ”Setting up multiple toy stations supports children’s exploration based on their interests and temperament,” says Thomas. She adds, “Having a variety of toys, including multiples of popular items, gives children freedom to choose and reduces competition for specific toys, especially in same-age groups.”
- Use leading language: Fraley recommends using phrases like “I wonder what this is?” or “I wonder if someone can help me?” to prompt curiosity, facilitate engagement and create opportunities for children to interact in their own ways.
- Encourage independence: When a child requests to play with dolls, an adult might model a simple activity, such as beading necklaces or creating accessories for the dolls. “Through this activity, the child must decide how to care for or engage with the dolls, allowing them to develop independence in the play,” explains Fraley. This shift from caregiver-led dialogue to child-initiated play encourages the child to take the lead.
- Monitor for comfort and inclusion: Quimby says parents and caregivers should observe parallel play time to make sure everyone is feeling comfortable and included. “Caregivers should also watch for any signs of discomfort or isolation,” he adds.
When to consult an expert
Quimby says while parallel play is beneficial, too much for too long can mean children engage less in teamwork and direct communication, which might delay the development of these skills if not also balanced with more interactive play. He says, “If a child relies too much on parallel play, it might suggest or lead to issues like social anxiety or difficulties socializing. There’s also a risk that children may feel overlooked or excluded, which could impact their self-esteem and willingness to participate in future group activities.”
Abelowitz says parents should exercise caution with parallel play if it persists beyond 3 or 4 years of age, especially if the child shows signs of consistently avoiding interaction with other children.
A final word on parallel play
Parallel play in toddlers fosters social, emotional, and cognitive growth by combining independent exploration with subtle social interaction, setting the stage for future developmental milestones.
For shy children, or those who are still developing their social confidence, parallel play provides a safe space to observe, learn, and grow at their own pace.
Abelowitz says parents and caregivers should encourage and support parallel play because “it’s a crucial developmental stage that helps children learn important social skills, while observing others, respecting boundaries and eventually transitioning to cooperative play.”
