Being a working parent is no easy task, but neither is staying at home with your kids. After parents welcome a new baby, we tend to focus on what they need to feel supported as they go back to work. But becoming a stay-at-home parent is also a major transition. One soon-to-be mom recently asked the Internet how to support her newly stay-at-home husband, and the commenters’ brilliant and honest advice is something all parents need to see.
The anonymous woman wrote on Reddit that she’s expecting her first baby this winter, and she will be heading back to her job as a lawyer while her husband stays home with their baby. Her husband will be working through online coursework to attain his master’s degree while taking care of their child. Other than having groceries delivered and helping out when she’s not at the office, the mom-to-be asked, what can she do to keep her partner from feeling isolated and stressed in his new role?
Parents chimed in with helpful tips and anecdotes that covered everything from taking care of mental and emotional health to how stay-at-home parents can make friends and stay active.
1. Give the stay-at-home parent ample breaks to avoid burnout
Preventing burnout was a common theme, with many people advising the woman to help her husband schedule breaks so he isn’t on baby duty 24/7.
“Give him one night a week off. (Go drink beers, watch a movie, eat out. Hang with a bud.),” user matthewbuza_com wrote. “And most importantly, no matter how hard the kid is during the time don’t tell him. ‘The kid was great. I hope you had a great time.’ I feel guilty if my wife is having a hard time while I’m having my one night out.”
2. Recognize there will be good days and bad days
Others advised the mom-to-be to let her stay-at-home partner arrange his schedule in whatever way works for him, and to recognize and respect that some days will be harder than others. “Be understanding, that some days the house will be a disaster and dinner will be takeout. I would get home from work and give my husband a break for 30/60 minutes to unwind. Otherwise, they will figure out what works and have their own routine,” user HappyRoobee wrote.
3. Help find activities outside the house
For activities, people suggested storytimes at the library, trips to the park, baby music and swim classes and joining the local YMCA or a gym with day care so that the stay-at-home parent has the option of getting a small break in the middle of the day.
4. Invest in items that will make the at-home parents life easier
Other tips included getting the stay-at-home parent a nice pair of Bluetooth headphones so they can listen to music or podcasts while the baby naps and investing in wraps, slings and carriers for babywearing.
5. When you’re home, step up
“When you’re home you change all diapers,” added user matthewbuza_com.
That’s one tip we can definitely get behind.
6. Be there emotionally for your partner
Most importantly, many people reminded the mom-to-be that becoming a stay-at-home parent is a huge adjustment. “He will be on a rollercoaster emotionally. There will be days when he despises the situation and days where he is happy with it. Just be there and understand that his feelings may be a fluid situation. You already sound like you’re supportive so your most of the way there. Just listen,” wrote user MoonCricket18.
It’s typical for people to think that being a stay-at-home parent is “easy” because it doesn’t require dress pants, long commutes or dealing with office politics. But being home with children all day is far from a day at the beach. Making friends can be difficult, the day-to-day duties can feel monotonous and — even though we adore them — caring for young children can often be an overwhelming and thankless job.
There is tons of advice out there for working parents who want help adjusting to life with a baby and creating a better work-life balance, but it’s rare that people acknowledge what it truly takes to be successful in caring for children full-time. These tips are a powerful reminder that all parents need support, no matter what path they choose.
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