Most parents have heard about the “village” it takes to raise a child. Teachers, extended family members, friends — they all play their own unique role in the upbringing of society’s youngest members. But what if you don’t have access to village of your own? What if you’re not fortunate enough to have grandparents who can help out or — real talk — even friends? One mom on TikTok suggests buying them instead.
Casey Stewart of Working Mom Habits recently spoke about “buying her village” on TikTok; and how — spoiler alert — shelling out her money for care help has paid for itself in dividends.
After talking about the one thing all successful working moms have in common (“they’re not doing it alone”), Stewart elaborates on her idea of buying a village. “I’m going to tell you four ways that I’ve paid for my village that is, quite literally, saving me in this season right now,” she says.
Stewart admits to paying for the following four members of her village:
- Babysitters.
- House cleaners.
- Snack delivery service.
- Female entrepreneurship program.
“I have put in the work to find incredible babysitters in my area through my daughter’s school, through Care.com, through local Facebook groups,” Stewart explains, acknowledging the fact that finding child care takes work on the front end. She then goes on to say that she uses Thrive Market to get healthy snacks delivered to her house for the kids, and recently joined a supportive program for other female entrepreneurs.
“I got really tired of feeling lonely in this space and not having friends,” Stewart says of entrepreneurship. “So, I guess you can say I went out and bought them myself.”
The price of buying your village
While Stewart, understandably, doesn’t reveal how much she’s paying for these services that undoubtedly make life easier, a few TikTok users point out that it can’t be cheap. One commenter writes, “Your big revelation for working moms is that if they were just richer to buy help then they too could solve the problems of modern motherhood?”
According to the most recent data from the Department of Labor, the cost of an “infant-based” child care center can range from $8,310 to $17,171 a year. Similarly, Care’s 2024 Cost of Care Survey, which uses feedback from 2,000 families, found that families posted rates for nannies that average $766 per week — or $39,832 a year — for one child, while rates for infant care at a daycare center average $321 per week or $16,692 a year.
Stewart doesn’t share the program she joined, but Thrive Market has an annual charge of about $60 (plus groceries) and house cleaners on Care.com post an average national starting rate of $19.79 an hour (as of October 7, 2024).
To get a better idea of what house cleaners, nannies and sitters are asking for in your area, check out Care.com’s Cost of Care Calculator.
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No shame in the game
Stewart’s post on TikTok may have garnered attention, but she’s hardly the first parent to “buy their village” — particularly in the areas of child care and house cleaning. And while her proclamation may have garnered some pushback in the comments section, there’s no denying the fact that having support and “buying time” can be a huge stress-reducer for moms and dads, which can ultimately make them a better parent.
Just as not everyone has the means to pay for house cleaning and child care, not everyone has a built-in village. Parenting is nothing without problem solving, budgeting and making the seemingly impossible possible for your specific situation.
