Giving birth is never easy. I mean, they don’t call it “labor” for nothing. But giving birth in the middle of a global pandemic? That’s not something any of us could have imagined. Still, it’s what hundreds of thousands of women have done since March 11, 2020, when the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic.
During the first year of the pandemic, if the U.S. birth rate holds up, as many as 3.8 million babies will be born into this new world, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. And while experts believe there will eventually be a COVID baby bust of up to half a million fewer children born due to the economic uncertainty the pandemic has created, women who were already pregnant when the pandemic hit had to suddenly welcome their babies into the world during unprecedented times. I am one of those new moms. I welcomed my first child in March of 2020.
Having a baby in 2020 has been incredibly difficult; many of us new parents have not been able to get support from friends or family, and the isolation is palpable. Of course, there have been nice moments, too. Moments when it’s just me and the baby with all of the snuggles between us. I know I’m not the only one, which is why I asked 14 moms to share their stories of their pandemic baby’s first year so far — the best and worst of it all.
1. There are no feelings of obligation, but we’re doing this all alone.
Best: “We don’t have to feel guilt or an obligation for people to meet our baby right now or attend social events.”
Worst: “No one has met our baby yet, and we are doing this all alone. This is our first child.”
— Allie Nemeth, mom of 4-month-old, Greenville, South Carolina
2. We do enjoy the slower days, but I still feel anger about all the stress we endured during such a special time.
Best: “Slower days and no obligations meant more bonding with my baby and her siblings.”
Worst: “Anger around the feeling that we were robbed of the enjoyment of pregnancy and preparing for her, our rainbow baby, that we were finally starting to have less anxiety about. We had to cancel our shower and had no ability to shop to prepare for her. ”
— Meghan Smith, mom of 4-month-old, Orland, Maine
3. We had a lot of time to bond as a family of three, but our daughter still hasn’t met her grandparents.
Best: “Being able to work from home with [my baby] until much longer than I likely would have been allowed to with no pandemic, having my husband home/working from home and having all of his help. Plus, I love having all of the family time together, especially having alone time in the hospital to get used to being a family of three.”
Worst: “Her grandparents and other family not being able to meet her yet… and she will be 5 months old in a few days.”
— Danielle Sawin, mom of 5-month-old, Phoenix
4. It’s great not to worry I’m missing out … but we did miss out on getting newborn photos.
Best: “I have no FOMO.”
Worst: “We couldn’t get a newborn photo shoot for me and my new baby.”
— Vanessa Zakes, mom of 2.5-week-old, Sacramento, California
5. I get all of the baby snuggles, but the baby’s first holidays just aren’t what they should be.
Best: “Keeping all the unwanted people away! I get almost all the baby snuggles.”
Worst: “All his first holidays ruined.”
— Taylor Nichter, mom of 4.5-month-old, Hoschton, Georgia
6. Maternity leave is longer, but I worry about the virus constantly.
Best: “I’ve been able to stay home longer on maternity leave.”
Worst: “The anxiety of worrying about getting the virus and passing it to my son.”
— Kailee Elkins, mom of 5-month-old, Virginia Beach, Virginia
7. We have more time together but limited visitors — and no mom group!
Best: “Getting to spend so much more time with my baby, plus getting to have my husband working from home during my maternity leave. ”
Worst: “Not having my friends be able to hold him, having to limit visitors (even family wise), and missing out on social stuff with other moms during my leave.”
— Kat Miller, mom of 20-week-old, South Orange, New Jersey
8. Not having a commute is great, but not having help is stressful.
Best: “Not having to commute while super pregnant and working from home the whole third trimester were pretty great.”
Worst: “No help from friends and family. Constant stress about exposing my tiny newborn. .”
— Courtney Hart, mom of 4-week-old, Eastham, Massachusetts
9. The alone time is nice, but I miss my people
Best: “I love the alone time with my baby.”
Worst: “Not being able to have people meet my baby.”
— Katherine Fischer, mom of 6-month-old, Twin Falls, Idaho
10. Being home 24/7 is nice, but I’m worried about someone bringing COVID to us.
Best: “Being able to be home with my baby 24/7 and not worrying about needing to socialize or be out and about.”
Worst: “Fear of baby becoming sick or family bringing COVID to our home.”
— Nicole Jackson, mom of 4-month-old, Warwick, Rhode Island
11. Being able to work from home with my twins will be great, but my babies don’t recognize family.
Best: “Being able to be home with the babies once going back to work!”
Worst: “Not being able to introduce more friends and family to my twins. Even when we do see family, it’s much less often than we would have planned. Sadly, the babies don’t recognize them visit to visit.”
— Angela Koehn, mom of 4.5-month-old twins, Brooklyn, New York
12. My husband’s home with me, but not having any support from extended family and friends is hard.
Best: “My husband working from home full time!”
Worst: “Not having any support and not being able to see family and friends.”
— Jennie Thomas, mom of 11-week-old, Nashville, Tennessee
13. Working from home has allowed us to forgo day care, but out-of-town family can’t come to visit.
Best: “Working from home and having more time with baby, plus not sending her to day care.”
Worst: “Out of town family has not been able to fly to meet her.”
— Han Yount, mom of 7-month-old, Denver
14. It’s been a gift to be able enjoy our last baby, but it’s so hard not to share our joy.
Best: “This is my fourth child and I expect her to also be my last. Having her during the pandemic has been good in that isolating has forced us to slow down and really drink in all the moments. People joke about how 2020 has been the longest year ever, but for me, that’s sort of been a good thing. This baby is growing up the slowest, if that makes sense. I’m truly enjoying and being present for her every step of the way rather than rushing off to one activity after the next. ”
Worst: “Babies are such a joyful thing that you just want to share them with everybody. It’s hard not being able to do that. This year, everything is different. We’ve seen a very limited circle of people and barely anyone has held my baby that’s from outside my household. It’s been odd and a little sad, but we know it isn’t forever and are blessed that this isn’t our first baby rodeo so we are pretty confident in our parenting.”
— Jessica Anders, mom of 4-month-old, Lehigh Acres, Florida
