On your most harried days, having a live-in nanny may sound like the ideal solution for your family. After all, having extra help right in your house when you need it offers peace of mind and stability no other child care option can. But convenience aside, there are a number of often-overlooked factors families need to consider before hiring a live-in nanny — one being the fact that, despite a nanny living with you, they’re not “on” 24 hours a day.
“Families seeking to hire a live-in nanny should be mindful of the type of experience they want and whether or not they can create a comfortable environment for an employee to both work and live,” says Elizabeth Malson, executive director of the U.S. Nanny Association. “Not all families want to adapt to having another person living in the home, as a live-in nanny will have time off and yet be in the home.”
Wondering if a live-in nanny is right for you and your family? Here’s a list of expert-backed pros and cons to consider.
“Not all families want to adapt to having another person living in the home, as a live-in nanny will have time off and yet be in the home.”
ELIZABETH MALSON, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, U.S. NANNY ASSOCIATION
Pros of hiring a live-in nanny
From flexibility to pay, here are some of the ways a live-in nanny can be an asset to your family:
You have more flexibility
No doubt about it: Live-in nannies offer valuable flexibility. When you’re late for work, you know your nanny is right there to help get the kids dressed and fed. And you know they’ll be on time in the morning because they don’t have to commute. Additionally, iIf you have an unexpected trip, a live-in nanny can be there overnight.
But again, “live-in nannies have standard work hours,” says Olivia Fountain, operations manager at the domestic staffing agency, Household Staffing. “The hours can vary, but many work either 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. or 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.” So if you need them to work during off hours, Fountain notes, “a conversation needs to be had and they need to be compensated.”
Kids’ routines are easier maintained
According to Fountain, the majority of folks who hire live-in nannies are dual-income families, where both parents have busy, sometimes unpredictable work schedules. “For parents who travel, having a live-in nanny can be vital to keep the kids’ weekly routine consistent when one or both parents are away on a business trip,” adds Lynn Ziefle a career counselor at the Nanny Institute.
Similarly, parents who work in shifts may need overnight coverage and/or emergency coverage if a parent is suddenly called away. “Military families, hospital workers, first responders and families with unpredictable or non-traditional working hours have few childcare options,” Ziefle notes. “With daycares often limited to Monday through Friday, many families require a nanny as at least one of a few childcare options that work with their schedules.”
Live-in nannies are generally more affordable
You can usually negotiate a lower salary than you would pay a live-out nanny, because you’re also covering their room, board and other living expenses, such as utilities and, in some cases, food, a car and a cell phone. “While live-in nannies don’t make less than standard nannies, the set-up usually benefits families financially,” notes Fountain.
Live-in nannies are like family
For many, hiring a live-in nanny is like gaining a new family member — best of all, one who has your kids’ best interests at heart. “There’s a special bond between live-in nannies and the children and family,” says Ziefle. “Live-ins can engage on a more personal level with the kids and parents, as they’re there for the bumps and bruises and milestones and triumphs.”
“Live-ins can engage on a more personal level with the kids and parents, as they’re there for the bumps and bruises and milestones and triumphs.”
LYNN ZIEFLE, CAREER COUNSELOR AT THE NANNY INSTITUTE
A live-in nanny can offer a new viewpoint
If your live-nanny is from another location or culture, they’ll bring invaluable exposure to new ideas. Your family may learn about interesting foods, traditions or learn a new language.
You stretch your comfort zone
Adapting to a new person in your home takes flexibility on both sides and the adjustment isn’t always easy. But if you can both get through the beginning, your family will have learned a new set of adaptive skills, which are vital for life.
Things to consider before hiring a live-in nanny
While there are a number of benefits to having a live-in nanny, there also are a few things to to consider before hiring one, including:
You have another person in the house
Even in the best scenarios, a live-in nanny will compromise your privacy a little and the situation might take some getting used to. For instance, sometimes the nanny will join you for dinner and sometimes you’ll just want family time. Making the distinction can be awkward.
According to Fountain, this is the number one caveat families encounter after hiring a live-in nanny. “Many families don’t realize how much they’ll miss their privacy,” she explains. “When there’s a live-in nanny, families are rarely home alone, and inevitably things like arguments between spouses wind up happening when the nanny is under the same roof.”
“When there’s a live-in nanny, families are rarely home alone, and inevitably things like arguments between spouses wind up happening when the nanny is under the same roof.”
OLIVIA FOUNTAIN, OPERATIONS MANAGER AT HOUSEHOLD STAFFING
Children have difficulty understanding when the nanny is off the clock
While you may be able to draw a line between your nanny’s working and non-working hours, kids will have a harder time — especially if the nanny is at home. “Children have a very hard time with this boundary, as they don’t understand that the nanny is an employee, and thus, will often want to spend time with them during off hours,” explains Malson. “Parents need to have a plan in place to support the nanny’s time off while ensuring the children feel continually supported.”
You still need back-up care
“Hiring a live-in does not guarantee the nanny will always be available, so parents need to have backup childcare when the nanny is sick and/or unable to work,” says Malson.
You have to figure out boundaries
As the nanny and family get comfortable with each other, some professional boundaries need to be figured out, according to Malson. “There’s a delicate balance between live-in nannies and families,” she says. “It’s best for each person to determine what information is public and what they don’t mind sharing with one another. It’s up to both the family and the nanny to create professional and personal boundaries.”
Live-in nannies are like family
A good thing? Yes. But just like any family, problems crop up in the best relationships — and you can’t send the live-in nanny home for the night while everyone cools off.
The nanny has a life
It’s great to have a nanny with lots of interests and friends, but as your home is their home, sometimes those interests and friends will come to your house. This is why, again, it’s essential to have conversations — and preferably a work agreement or live-in nanny contract — on the front end.
“Living with an employer/employee is different from sharing an apartment,” Malson says. “Thus, there needs to be a discussion up front in regards to the policy for friends visiting, overnight guests and pets during the interview process.”
The end of the job is more involved
When it’s time for you and your nanny to part ways, they have to move out. That alone is much different than just giving two week’s notice. And if everyone is attached to a beloved nanny, it can be emotionally tough as well.
