These days, many parents and caregivers make an intentional effort to raise confident children with a healthy sense of self. Fostering positive self-esteem from an early age has many benefits, like helping kids learn to value their skills and persist during hard times; however, it can be challenging to know how to support these efforts. One strategy that’s flexible and useful across different age groups is practicing positive affirmations.
“Positive affirmations for kids can be used to support a child’s development, increase their core beliefs, create a positive mindset and improve self-worth,” says Grace Tucker, a child therapist and education consultant in Charlotte, North Carolina. If you’re a parent or caregiver hoping to use affirmations, read on for expert tips on how to introduce them and a helpful list of positive affirmations for kids.
What are positive affirmations for kids?
Positive affirmations are sayings we can use to build confidence, shift our mindsets in hard times and cope with heavy feelings, like self-doubt and fear. Tucker says self-affirmation has been linked to lower stress and improved performance. Affirmations can also be used to help kids:
- Boost their sense of self.
- Reinforce routines and behavior changes.
- Feel supported under stress.
Affirmations have a long, ancient history, Tucker adds. “[Historically], we learned that we could cultivate a positive mindset by utilizing positive thinking,” she explains. “Today, we see affirmations integrated everywhere, from therapy to children’s media, self-help podcasts and even in work culture.”
27 positive affirmations for kids
Tuckers says affirmations can be incorporated into daily routines and to be proactive about preparing kids for upcoming challenges. It’s helpful if you keep several things in mind when introducing positive affirmations to kids:
- Know what goal or shift you’d like to support the child through.
- Confirm that your vision for them is congruent with their vision for themself.
- Keep the affirmations simple.
Here are some different positive affirmations for kids to help you get started:
Morning positive affirmations for kids
“‘Filling your tank’ in the morning is a great way to be sure kids have enough ‘fuel’ to get through the day,” Tucker says. “You can utilize visuals like writing affirmations on the bathroom mirror, using a card deck, books or even songs.” Choose a morning affirmation for kids to try:
- I am strong and determined.
- I choose my attitude.
- I can do hard things.
- Today is going to be a great day.
- It’s OK to make mistakes.
- I am ready to learn.
“I am” affirmations
Tucker recommends “I am” affirmations for when kids experience self-identity concerns, like feeling that they give up easily or that they aren’t a good friend. These include:
- I am committed.
- I am a good friend.
- I am worthy.
- I am brave.
- I am capable.
Read more:
“I can” affirmations
If kids experience concerns about their ability to achieve something, like riding their bike or advocating for themselves, Tucker says to try an “I can” affirmation:
- I can ride a bike.
- I can speak up for myself.
- I can do all things with hard work.
- I can rest, recharge and keep working towards my goals.
- I can ask for help when I need it.
- I can revamp and walk away.
Positive identity affirmation for kids
Use the following affirmations to help celebrate who kids are and affirm their identities, core values and self-worth:
- I am Black/neurodivergent/Latinx/disabled/etc. and proud.
- I love my hair/skin/culture/body.
- My differences make me, me.
- I accept myself for who I am.
- There’s nothing wrong with being different.
- I am beautiful just as I am.
- My culture/brain differences/language/skin help me see the world differently, and it adds to who I am.
- My perspectives matter.
- Big feelings aren’t bad things.
- I don’t have to change to be worthy.
Do positive affirmations work?
Experts say the usefulness of affirmations is based on the brain’s ability to adapt to new patterns, also called neuroplasticity, and their effectiveness is based on repetition. Research shows that repetitive negative thinking is a predictor of anxiety and depression. Similarly, Tucker says past research about positive thinking and positive self-talk shows some positive impact of repeated affirmations on mental wellness.
“If I think, ‘I’m going to score a goal,’ I will feel excited and motivated about scoring the goal, and I will behave in a way that increases the likelihood of scoring a goal.”
— Grace Tucker, child therapist
Affirmations aren’t always effective, though. One 2021 study did not find a correlation between students saying positive affirmations and improvement in their moods, notes Tucker. However, positive self-talk has been associated with:
- Reduced public speaking anxiety for students.
- Increased motivation and dedication for athletes.
- Greater regulation of thoughts, feelings and behavior.
“Cognitive behavioral therapy tells us that our thoughts, feelings and behavior are all deeply correlated,” Tucker says. “Therefore, if I think, ‘I’m going to score a goal,’ I will feel excited and motivated about scoring the goal, and I will behave in a way that increases the likelihood of scoring a goal — asking for the ball, positioning myself to score or taking a shot at the goal. Conversely, the same is true.”
How to use positive affirmation for kids
Affirmations aren’t a fix-all solution for preventing negative thinking. It’s also crucial to teach youth to affirm their circumstances honestly. Further, affirmations are not a suitable replacement when young people need therapy or medication support to manage neurodiversity or mental health concerns like anxiety or depression.
Here’s how experts say you can use positive affirmations properly, and a few things to keep in mind when using them with kids:
1. Combine them with a healthy lifestyle
Affirmations should be used in conjunction with other positive behaviors, like getting enough sleep and establishing healthy routines. A 2023 study found fragmented sleep makes it harder to control emotions and easier to fixate on negative ideas. Affirmations can complement self-care and health behaviors, but they can’t replace them.
2. Support self-esteem in multiple ways
Positive self-talk works best when it’s a part of a more extensive self-esteem practice. Other ways to build children’s self-esteem include:
- Listening to and acknowledging their thoughts and feelings.
- Modeling positive self-talk and self-image.
- Offering clear expectations and support during challenges.
- Allowing them to make decisions for themselves when possible.
“It’s not enough to just tell yourself, ‘I can do hard things.’ We have to do the hard thing.”
— Grace Tucker
3. Don’t just affirm, act
Affirmations require action to be effective, Tucker says. “It’s not enough to just tell yourself, ‘I can do hard things.’ We have to do the hard thing,” she explains. “This is where the magic happens: a thought becomes a belief because we reinforce that thought with action.”
Tucker advises collaborating with kids so they not only think more positively, but also take action to reinforce those thoughts. This will help their belief in themselves continue to grow.
4. Lead with empathy
Affirmations can feel invalidating if misused, so it’s important to still acknowledge kids’ feelings and struggles, Tucker says. “For example, if a child says math is hard, don’t immediately reply, ‘You can do hard things,’” she explains.
You want to acknowledge the child’s feelings with empathy, affirm them and then problem-solve.” Instead, she adds, you might respond with: “I know this is difficult, but you can do hard things. Let’s figure out how.”
5. Make positive affirmations a fun routine
Dr. Lauren Mims, an assistant professor of applied psychology at New York University, encourages parents and caregivers to affirm kids in ways that align with what they’re already doing. “Messages of affirmation can be embedded right into your daily routines,” she says.
Mims points to the following as simple ways for parents and caregivers to affirm kids:
- During dinner, share what you like or love about each person.
- Make a happy music playlist and squeeze in a nightly dance party.
- Choose an affirming song and sing it proudly with a hairbrush or spoon microphone.
- Read books with affirming characters, messages and storylines.
Mims also suggests a call-and-response game during which kids have to choose something about themselves to celebrate. For example: “My name is Lauren (Her name is Lauren), and I love how I try my best (Lauren tries her best). My name is Mom (Her name is Mom), and I love how strong I am (Mom is strong).”
“We’ve learned a lot about how messages of racial pride … or reciting affirmations with your child in the mirror about the beauty of their African American features and their cultural background helps children build strong, healthy identities.”
— Dr. Lauren Mims, assistant professor of applied psychology
6. Affirm difference
Positive affirmations can be especially beneficial for children who belong to marginalized groups. Studies have found that Black and Latino students who completed self-affirming exercises took on more challenging courses and were likelier to enroll in college. Mims says she and other Black psychologists have also examined benefits of positive ethnic-racial socialization — how parents and caregivers communicate about race — on children’s mental health.
“We’ve learned a lot about how messages of racial pride — like saying, ‘I’m Black, and I’m proud’ — or reciting affirmations with your child in front of the mirror about the beauty of their African American features and cultural background helps children build strong, healthy identities,” she says. “We’ ha’ve even found that it can buffer against the negative effects of racial discrimination.”
The bottom line on positive affirmations for kids
It’s important to know children are listening and learning from you and your presence matters, Mims concludes.
Affirmations can help children, tweens and teens develop a positive sense of self, find the courage to pursue new goals and challenge negative messages and thoughts. However, positive affirmations are not a fix-all solution for more profound concerns. Children still need emotional and mental health support during difficult times, and they still need guidance in establishing healthy behaviors and a sense of self.
‘When used along with emotional validation, consistency and a supportive lifestyle, positive affirmations are an excellent addition to any parent or caregiver’s social emotional learning toolkit.
