18 curious confessions about parent-teacher conferences

Ah, parent-teacher conferences. A time to get to know the teacher on a more personal level. A time to find out what your kid really is up to in school all day. Also, a time to be… completely thrown for a loop?! (“Quiet?” “Helpful?” Seriously, who is this child you’re speaking of, Teach?)

From less-than-stellar teacher reports to the the awkward mini chairs parents have to sit it, here are 18 tweets from moms and dads who have big feelings about parent-teacher conferences.

1. I’m sorry, he asked you what?

First parent-teacher conference of the year for my kindergartener.
First line out of his teacher’s mouth: Well, he’s very curious. Yesterday, he asked where babies come from. pic.twitter.com/HTABjN686D
— Erica L. Green (@EricaLG) October 13, 2022

2. If there were parent-teacher conferences in college

Parent teacher conferences in college:

Mom: how’s my son doing?
Prof: I’ve never seen this man in my life
— College Student (@ColIegeStudent) March 14, 2022

3. At least no one else sees it?

Parent teacher conference = your child is doing so well, listening and being respectful… reading well, math needs some work but good.

Kid as soon as we get home = *most epic tantrum meltdown and refuses to listen*
— Dad Nauseam (@kk_waters) October 12, 2023

4. Maybe they should just be in another room

Me sitting at my daughter’s preschool parent teacher conference. pic.twitter.com/UY2KS1waF4
— Ron Johnson (@3RonJohnson) November 7, 2018

5. Mom kinda has a point

What are preschool parent/teacher conferences for? To see if they’re failing finger painting?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 1, 2022

6. When your kid wears rose-colored glasses — to a fault

Me: Hey kiddo, how’s school going?

Kid: It’s great. Everything is good.

(Repeat daily)

*First parent teacher conference*

Narrator: It was not great. Everything is not ok.
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) October 10, 2019

7. Is it OK to grease the teacher?

What’s the appropriate amount to bribe the teacher when attending your first parent teacher conference?
— John Cena (@SohnCena) January 9, 2020

8. Wait, you sure you have the right kid?

I got to meet my son's teacher and she kept saying things like "he always listens" and "he's always on task" I just looked super confused as I looked over my shoulder looking for Ashton because I thought I was being punk'd.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 16, 2019

9. We’ll take any praise we can get

Parent teacher conference day(s) pic.twitter.com/PjjmsVxVos
— trainer justin #43 🐳 (@jstinftw) October 6, 2021

10. Biting, Ivy League schools — what’s the diff?

What the teacher said at Parent Teacher Conference: Your child won’t stop biting other children.

What the parent heard: Your child is clearly advanced. No doubt, Harvard is in their future.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) September 26, 2019

11. Hey, at least they’re honest

Me: Your parent-teacher conference is coming up.

6-year-old: Oh.

Me: Is the anything I should know about?

6: No. I do all my bad stuff at home.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2018

12. The only thing missing is a fanny pack

I think my kids are embarrassed when I wear my ascot to their parent teacher conferences, but they really match the color of my Crocs.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 3, 2016

13. That’s great, but… why isn’t he like that at home?!

[conferences]

Teacher: your son is so quiet and helpful in class!

Me: aww wow, that's really unfair
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 3, 2016

14. No idea where he got that from.

[parent teacher conference]
TEACHER: little joey has trouble accepting responsibility for his actions
PARENT: good luck dealing with that
— Olly iConic (@OllyiConic) May 7, 2017

15. She probably saw it on TV or something

Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so…. no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) March 13, 2014

16. When the apple falls far from the tree

[parent/teacher conference]
Teacher: Your son is reading four levels above his classmates.
Me: [peeling Elmer's Glue off my palm] What?
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 24, 2016

17. Is this in the first half of the year or the second?

[parent-teacher conference]

teacher: he’s doing so well, and he’s such a great listen-

me: coolcoolcool no doubt but when do you teach them to stop turning on every light in the house, is that this year or
— Janie BLM Goode (@2browneyedboys) October 12, 2018

18. There’s always a silver lining

Do I need to leave the office at 4:00 to get to the 5:45 parent/teacher conference? No…

Did I use said parent/teacher conference as an excuse to leave the office at 4:00? Sure as hell did😂
— you don’t know me (@I_Messed_Up6) October 4, 2022