Are you familiar with the latest, and the greatest parenting styles? Do you know the difference between parenting like a hippo or parenting like a dolphin? If you just said, “Huh? What?” read on for enlightenment. Parenting methods are ever-popular fuel for the media. (Check out “I’m a sloth mom.”) While you might end up feeling a bit labeled, try to take them with a grain of salt or maybe a salted glass and a margarita!
Here are some parenting styles you may have yet to discover:
- Conscious Unparenting
“Modern-day parenting is unreasonably demanding, and, for most, unsustainable,” points out Kimberly Kinzie, co-author of the book Conscious Unparenting. “The hyper-focus on our kids leaves little room for us parents to pay attention to our own needs. The result burnout and misery. If we grown-ups (especially moms) could scale back and parent a bit more like our moms did back in the day, we might just enjoy our children a little more, and they, in turn, will benefit from the independence we grant them.”What is conscious unparenting? Kinzie explains, “We’re not talking about checking out of parenthood altogether that would be more fittingly called ‘unconscious parenting.’ Instead we want to inspire each woman to find the places where she can comfortably scale back her parenting and divert that freed-up energy to tending her own needs. That’s conscious unparenting. We chose this modality because it’s a more balanced approach, less kid-centric and more carefree. As difficult as it can be to scale back, it’s best for everyone involved.”
- Authoritative Versus Authoritarian
Authoritative parents balance demandingness and responsiveness, according to the American College of Pediatricians. They inspire competence, supervise their children and are lovingly responsive to the child’s needs for both independence and protection. On the other side of the coin, you have authoritarian parents. These parents up the ante on the demanding factor while dismissing the need for sensitive responsiveness.
- French
Now residing in France, Lisa Stadnyk-Webb, mom and blogger behind Canadian Expat Mom, says, “I feel like French parents hold their kids to a high set of expectations.” She notes, “If you walk into a restaurant in France, you will see children conversing at the table, not staring at a screen in front of them.” French children also start full-time school at age 3.
- Permissive
These parents make no demands and set no rules. While that might sound great to your teen, permissive parenting tends to result in children who have little self-regulation and aren’t particularly social.
- Attachment
Contrary to public perception, this method doesn’t mean that you co-sleep and breastfeed until your child is ready to walk down the aisle. This style is all about forming a strong, nurturing bond with your child, explains Attachment Parenting International in an outline of its eight parenting principles.
- Peaceful
Stemming from the attachment movement, peaceful parents provide safe, nurturing environments, actively listen to their children and make the bond or connection a priority.
- Tiger
You’ve probably seen ‘Tiger Mom’ Amy Chua on TV. Her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” took coddling off the table, replacing it with strict lessons and ultra-high expectations.
- Pussycat
This method is the obvious opposite of the tiger. The pussycat parent doesn’t strike, but instead sits by and lets the child lead.
- Dolphin
Like authoritative parents, a dolphin strives for a balance between being firm and softly sensitive. The result? Children who are independent yet able to follow the rules.
- Helicopter
The hovering hum of mom overhead doesn’t always do junior good. Helicopter parents micromanage their kids’ lives to the point of leaving them incompetent and incapable of being real grown-ups.
- Hippo
This parent goes a step above hovering and “sits” (metaphorically) on the child.
- Free range
This parenting style is about using common sense and teaching children to rely on themselves in intelligent ways. Although movement founder Lenore Skenazy was dubbed the “world’s worst mom” for allowing her 9-year-old to ride the New York City subway without an adult, free-range parenting isn’t synonymous with irresponsibility. Instead, it’s about allowing children to meet their fullest potential.
What kind of parent are you? If you’re unsure of your style, don’t worry. You don’t have to pick just one! Start with your child’s behavior and decide. Read Time Out: How to Create a Discipline Plan for more inspiration.
Erica Loop is a mom, parenting writer and educator with an MS in child development. When she’s not teaching, she’s busy creating kids’ activities for her blog Mini Monets and Mommies.
