Finding that special someone to love can be difficult. Finding that special family to work for long-term can be just as hard. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says Austin-area caregiver Cristy D. From her first gig as an au pair 12 years ago to her current full-time job looking after a toddler and newborn, Cristy has typically worked for just one family for years at a time.
“I only switch when the babies grow up and go to school,” she says. “They get used to me, and I get used to them.”
Managing the dynamic between caregiver and parents from the get-go is critical, Cristy says.
“It is a relationship,” she says. “You have to be compatible.”
And like any budding relationship, it takes time and effort on both sides to make it work.
Here, she shares her insights on connecting with a prospective family, getting to know them better and making the relationship “official.”
‘Date’ lots of people
When looking for a job, Cristy casts a wide net. Along with taking into account her expected commute and how well she gets along with a family’s children, Cristy relies on her gut to steer her toward certain jobs.
“I usually go through interviews with 10 or 12 families before I decide the best match for me,” she says. “There are so many differences in personality. It’s like when you meet a friend for the first time. Sometimes you are very compatible with certain people, and sometimes you aren’t. It’s something I feel in my heart. I do ask as many questions as possible about job responsibilities during the interview though, and I keep the family whose answers I’m most comfortable with.”
Take things slowly
Similar personalities aren’t necessarily enough to ensure a perfect match. Cristy also requests that every job begin with a one-month trial.
“I want to make sure I understand how they want to do things, from discipline to organization within the home,” she says. “It’s a test for all of us and a good amount of time to know if the job is going to work out. It’s like when you start out as a couple. Everybody says you don’t know a person until you live with them. This is the same thing. You spend eight or nine hours a day at a family’s house!”
Always make the relationship ‘official’
Before her one-month trial even begins, Cristy says she asks families to draw up a contract that clearly details her hours and responsibilities related to the children and housework. But she also gets down to specifics — like whether or not she can use a pot in the kitchen.
“I started working for one family that I didn’t know was vegetarian,” she says. “I always bring food for lunch, and one day they told me I needed to bring my own pots, pans and utensils every day, so I didn’t contaminate their stuff. I left after a month. Every family is different, so you need a contract to know and feel safe under the rules agreed on before you start. It’s about respecting each other — them as a family and me as a nanny.”
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