For a kid, a sleepover is the ultimate fun night with friends. For parents, on the other hand, a sleepover is an endurance test. It involves tons of noise, messy snacks and yelling over and over again for a horde of sugar-high kids to please go to sleep. So it makes sense that parents might try to squash the chaos by setting a few ground rules. But one mom took it a step further and drew up a super strict “sleepover contract” that has other moms and dads in shock.
The unnamed mom’s contract was posted on Reddit and Imgur after she shared it on Instagram prior to her son’s first sleepover. It features four rules by which her child’s friends must abide:
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Touching and tickling are strictly forbidden and punishable by permanent separation.
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Any change of clothing must happen in a separate room in total privacy.
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“Excess volume of voice or electronics” will result in privileges being taken away.
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Complaining will not be tolerated, but “constructive requests are encouraged in a calm, polite tone of voice.”
After reading the rules, kids are instructed to sign the contract, acknowledging that they “have read and understand the conditions of having a play date,” and “if my behavior reaches and maintains Ms. [Redacted]’s standards then a fun time will be had and brunch will occur together the following day.” However, if they violate the contract, “future play dates or sleepovers might not occur again without serious consideration and stipulation.”
While it’s understandable that most parents have basic house rules that kids need to follow when they come over, the mom’s demanding contract and threatening tone rubbed other parents the wrong way.
“Why are the children responsible for this women’s feelings?!!” a user called Ivegotthatboomboom writes on Reddit. “… Lady, your behavior and emotions are not their responsibility! This is bonkers. I truly feel for her kids, honestly breaks my heart.”
Another person writes that they’d be furious if they found out their kids had to sign an actual document to visit someone’s house.
“Honestly if I had kids and one of their friends’ parents expected them to sign something like this, I don’t think I’d be comfortable letting my kid go spend the night,” a user called PsychosisSundays says. “This woman’s a wackjob, and I can only imagine further lunacy would occur during the sleepover.”
Some related to the mom’s need for rules and boundaries but thought she needed to simplify her demands and scrap the contract completely.
“I have kids games day at my house, and I talk to the parents and kids about house rules … but this is very odd,” a parent who goes by Cablesixback says. “My horrible list of rules: stay out of my room. Use a napkin please, be nice to the puppy, and we are here to have fun. If you get stressed and aren’t having fun, talk to me. My house is a safe place.”
No one is arguing that sleepovers are easy or that kids are always perfect angels when they come over to play. But, for many people, this mom’s contract blows past normal concern and flies straight into the territory of overparenting other people’s children.
Sleepovers are already becoming a point of contention for many parents, and not just because they’re difficult to host or involve weird contracts. Where it was once totally normal and accepted to send a child to a practical stranger’s house for an overnight birthday party or other event, more and more parents are saying “no” to sleepovers, citing concerns about cyberbullying and the potential for physical or sexual abuse. Others simply don’t think their kids need to spend the entire night in a friend’s house because, as one Good Housekeeping writer put it, “We’re all kind of strangers, and you don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s home.”
This mom’s contract was likely an attempt to mitigate some of her anxiety about hosting her child’s friends, as well as put other parents at ease that she’d be running a tight ship while their children were in her care. In the end, it may be more of a cautionary tale about high-strung parents and how you can never truly know what you’re signing up for when you send your kid to a slumber party. We all have different rules and preferences, but if an overnight play date has you forcing elementary schoolers to sign strict contracts, it might be better to just send everyone home by 9 p.m.
