When your child finally starts school, it’s an exciting time. However, the pressures of a new classroom and a new set of expectations can also turn into a stressful time of adjustment for both parents and kids. In the early weeks of a new school year, it’s typical for students to come home exhausted from the pace of the day and the intensity of socializing and trying to master grade-level skills. This transition to full days spent in class among peers is also prime time for learning differences and disabilities to come to light.
For many kids — approximately 17% of the population — learning looks different from other children. Almost one in seven people have a language-based learning disorder, and an American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) study found that from 2015-2017 about 17.8% of children ages 13-17 were diagnosed with a developmental disability, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder.
Though learning differences are common, there is still confusion about what learning differences are and the best ways to support children who have them. Here’s what experts say parents and caregivers need to know.
What are learning differences?
The Learning Disabilities Association of America (LDA) describes learning differences as genetic and/or neurobiological factors that alter brain function and affect “one or more cognitive processes related to learning.” These processing problems can interfere with learning basic skills like math, writing and reading. In fact, reading is the skill most commonly affected by a learning disability. Learning disabilities (LDs) can also alter relationships with family and friends and erode a child’s confidence in their ability to keep up socially with their peers.
The Learning Disabilities Association of America (LDA) describes learning differences as genetic and/or neurobiological factors that alter brain functioning, which affect “one or more cognitive processes related to learning.”
Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), there is no classification of Learning Difference or Learning Challenge, so in order for students to be considered eligible to receive the provided supports and services, they need to be classified under the Specific Learning Disability (SLD) category.
The most common learning differences in kids
According to the LD Resources Foundation, Inc. (LDRFA), these are some of the most common learning disabilities:
- Dyslexia, which affects reading and related language-based processing skills.
- ADHD, a disorder that includes difficulty staying focused and paying attention, controlling behavior and hyperactivity.
- Dyscalculia, which affects a person’s ability to understand numbers and learn math facts.
- Dysgraphia, which impacts handwriting ability and fine motor skills.
- Dyspraxia, a learning difference that alters fine and gross motor skills, motor planning, and coordination.
Other learning differences also covered under IDEA include executive functioning, which affects planning, organization, strategizing, attention to details and managing time and space.
Signs that a child should be evaluated for learning differences
Learning differences, sometimes referred to as “invisible disabilities,” often don’t become obvious until a child reaches school age. Even then, they may not be easy to diagnose. According to the LDA, those with learning differences “look perfectly ‘normal’ and seem to be very bright and intelligent, yet may be unable to demonstrate the skill level expected from someone of a similar age.”
According to the LDA, those with learning differences “look perfectly ‘normal’ and seem to be very bright and intelligent, yet may be unable to demonstrate the skill level expected from someone of a similar age.”
Here are some signs learning differences might be at play:
Your child “shows up in the world differently” from other kids
As a first-time parent, Katie Colt, a writer and musician who lives in Copenhagen, didn’t always know what she was looking for with behaviors and patterns but, she says, “I had my suspicions that my son was a bit different than some of his peers.” When he was a baby, his first pediatrician mentioned he had low muscle tone. “I looked into it more on my own, and became aware that hypotonia could often be associated with other developmental delays,” Colt says.
“His teachers alerted me to the fact that he interacted with the environment in a different way than his peers … Rather than riding in the big push cars on the playground outside, my son would flip them over and play with their wheels.”
—Katie Colt, parent, writer and musician
Even though her son wasn’t able to articulate his feelings, as he grew, his behavior showed her how he felt about tasks that seemed harder for him than other kids. When her son was 2.5 and in preschool class a few mornings a week, Colt explains, “his teachers alerted me to the fact that he interacted with the environment in a different way than his peers.”
During his first parent-teacher conference, his teacher mentioned a couple of things that stood out to her. “Rather than riding in the big push cars on the playground outside,” Colt says, “my son would flip them over and play with their wheels. They also said that he would repetitively knock chairs over and pick them up. They weren’t sure at the time if it was cause and effect-type experimentation, or a sign of something else.” They suggested that he be evaluated by their home school district when he turned 3.
Your child struggles with emotional regulation
“My child had meltdowns at drop-off at day care. He was always in the teacher’s lap when I came to pick him up. He never participated.”
— Theresa, parent
Theresa, a mother of two from Toronto whose name has been changed at her request, noticed things seemed much more difficult for her son than other children before he ultimately was diagnosed with autism. “My child had meltdowns at drop-off at day care. He was always in the teacher’s lap when I came to pick him up. He never participated. The school said, ‘All kids have a hard time with drop-off, all kids get tired and snuggle,’ but I could SEE that the other kids weren’t doing what he was doing,” she explains. “If you look around a classroom or a drop-in center, the other kids are sitting in the circle — your child is running laps, your child is in the corner, and they are the only one — that’s something to watch.”
Your child has noticeable speech differences
Stacy Turner, head of school at Hamlin Robinson, a Seattle-based school that serves students with dyslexia and other language-based learning differences, says that one of the earliest warning signs of a learning difference is the onset of speech, meaning if a student or a child is not speaking as would be expected.
“How they play with sounds like ‘goo, goo, gaga’ and how they respond to and interact with the sounds that parents are making can be clues,” he says. Many language-based learning differences, he explains, are phonologically based — the way we process the sounds that we hear as we learn language — so how a kid is experiencing that can be a good warning sign.
Your child has difficulty mastering skills
Will Long, a member of the disability community and special education advocate specializing in Individualized Education Plans (IEPs), notes that certain disabilities manifest in toddler age. This is when key developmental characteristics start to form, such as eye contact and physical touch. Other disabilities are “triggered by new environments, like school, where a child is faced with challenges that were not relevant before.”
Gaps between expectations for a student and their actual ability can be clues. “Subtle learning differences often look like unexpected difficulties,” Berman says, or like a child isn’t trying. One way of defining a learning disability, she says, “is a mismatch between perceived ability and demonstrated success. This mismatch can cause frustration for child, parent and teacher.”
Your child’s behavior or attitude changes around learning
One of the overlooked elements of a learning difference, Turner says, is “that social impact where whatever you’re struggling with, it’s not in private. It’s a very public struggle with peers during that developmental time when kids so desperately want to fit in, have a place where they belong and be normal.”
He says he and his faculty hear from parents that their kids’ awareness of their differences start in kindergarten “as soon as systematic instruction starts in school.” Kids realize they’re working hard and not getting nearly as much done as their peers, he says, and that’s when they begin to identify themselves as “not that smart.”
“If a child suddenly doesn’t want to go to school or shows no interest in schoolwork, or is acting out and getting in trouble, usually there is an underlying reason.”
—Alieen Weintraub, parent and author
Berman concurs, “Some behavioral red flags can be frustration, giving up quickly, negative talk about the difficult skill,” like ‘I don’t need to know how to spell.’ As children continue to struggle, she says, “the talk can turn into negative self-talk like, ‘I’m just stupid.’”
Aileen Weintraub, author of “Knocked Down: A High Risk Memoir,” who lives in New York, noticed that in second grade, her son began to show less enthusiasm about school. “If a child suddenly doesn’t want to go to school or shows no interest in schoolwork, or is acting out and getting in trouble, usually there is an underlying reason.”
When kids come to school, they want to succeed, Turner says. “Success is fun and learning should be fun, and when kids aren’t being successful and then learning no longer becomes fun, there’s probably a missing skill.”
When not to worry about a child’s learning development
Your child developing or learning at a different pace from their peers is not cause for alarm in and of itself. “Children meet developmental and academic benchmarks at different rates,” says Ari Fox, a licensed clinical social worker and founder and director of Cope With School NYC, a child, adolescent and young adult psychotherapy practice in Manhattan.
For example, Fox adds, “Some children are reading very early, by age 3, but are having more social difficulty. Others may not learn to decode until around age 6 or a bit later. If a child is delayed in these academic milestones, while understandably upsetting, it need not be a cause for panic.”
Lynn Berman, a home visitor for Early Head Start, a federal program that supports pregnant mothers and families with children up to age 3 who are living in poverty, and who has also worked in early intervention, agrees. “I do often see mismatches between parental expectations and age-appropriate development,” she says. “A 3-year-old who cannot sit long enough to finish a board game is well within developmental norms. A 7-year-old who has had a chance to learn this skill might be showing some delays. A realistic expectation of what children can do at various ages is critical to both diagnosing and supporting learning difficulties.”
“A realistic expectation of what children can do at various ages is critical to both diagnosing and supporting learning difficulties.”
—Lynn Berman, Home visitor for Early Head Start
Kate Wehr, a business manager and mother of five who lives in Montana, says that just because your child appears to be “loud, hyper, quiet, picky, demotivated or simply a poor-performing student, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you are dealing with a learning difference.” Of her four “extremely active boys,” she says her son with confirmed learning differences has “strongly noticeable hyperactivity and sensory behaviors in comparison to his siblings.”
Where to seek support for your child’s learning differences
Long encourages parents to trust their instincts. “You are the expert on your child,” he says. “If you see behavior manifesting, it’s valid.”
Wehr agrees. “If you are a parent and something seems off with your child, trust your instincts. Talk to professionals, and if you’re not sure, get second opinions,” she says.
Teachers are a good first point of contact, and public schools should refer the family to a qualified psychologist for an assessment. Colt also suggests talking to your child’s physician about what you suspect. “When you have your child’s pediatrician in the mix, it’s useful because the school district will often take into account the medical examination as evidence of a learning or behavioral difference,” she says.
“If you are a parent and something seems off with your child, trust your instincts. Talk to professionals, and if you’re not sure, get second opinions.”
—Kate Wehr, parent and business manager
Turner recommends parents bring their concerns up as early as possible. The sooner parents and their kids’ team start talking about it, he says, “the better off the outcome is going to be for the students.”
Theresa agrees and encourages parents to remember that there are different ways of learning and teaching that can make things better for your child. “Don’t be scared of having more information. Your child is the same child no matter what label they are given.”
