Finding a great babysitter is like hitting the jackpot. But, once you’ve found that perfect fit for your family, do you know how to keep them coming back to work for you?
Believe it or not, the competition for great babysitters is stiff, and babysitter stealing — poaching another family’s babysitter by offering higher pay, flexible hours or other benefits — is surprisingly common. A recent Care.com survey found that 41% of parents say they’ve had a babysitter stolen from them, and 35% say they’ve been the one doing the stealing.
So, what’s the deal with sitter stealing, and how do you keep your favorite babysitter on speed dial long term? We asked parents and experts for everything you need to know to build a strong, happy and poach-proof relationship with your sitter.
How common is babysitter stealing, really?
Despite the number of parents who’ve had a babysitter stolen, it might seem hard to believe that it actually happens. Those beloved friends, family and neighbors whom you trust so much definitely wouldn’t try to poach one of your cherished child care providers, right? Don’t be so sure, says Shay Bush, Hiring Manager for The Babysitting Company.
“Babysitter stealing is absolutely a common practice,” she explains. “A family will either discuss their amazing sitter, or the sitter will be seen in action and influence other parents to approach them for assistance.”
Even parents who’ve never had a babysitter stolen say they see it happen all the time and they’re on high alert to prevent it. “I keep my babysitter info well hidden,” says Grace Per Lee, a mom from Burlington, Vermont. “Friends have asked me for names, and I’ve declined to give them. I also pay well. Good sitters are gold.”
Why are parents stealing babysitters from one another?
Babysitter stealing doesn’t happen because parents want to double-cross each other or make great babysitters even harder to find. It’s more that a great sitter is already pretty difficult to find.
More than three-quarters of parents say it’s hard to get any time away from their kids due to the challenges of finding a babysitter, according to the Care.com survey. So, when you have a line on a great sitter, even one that isn’t readily available to you, it’s hard to pass up the opportunity to secure their care.
New York mom Melissa says she’s considering “stealing” a babysitter for the first time this summer. Her child has special needs and works with an amazing paraprofessional at school. “He requires very particular care,” she explains. “The paraprofessional usually works at a summer camp, but we’ve offered more flexibility and higher pay if she comes to work for us instead.”
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5 ways to prevent babysitter stealing
Babysitters may be more likely to move on to a new job if they’re unhappy with their current work environment. Here’s what experts say you can do to keep your favorite babysitters happy and thriving with your family long term.
1. Pay a competitive rate
When you hire a new babysitter, make sure the pay rate you’re offering is in line with the rates for babysitters in your state. Additionally, be prepared for the fact that a babysitter’s pay rate can change depending on:
- How many children need care.
- The babysitter’s level of experience.
- The ages of the children.
- Specialized training or certifications.
- The scope of the work required.
The bottom line, says Laurie Kline, the head of the Babysitters Agency of West Los Angeles, is that quality babysitters are less likely to stay in a role where they’re underpaid.
“Sometimes people have it in their heads that they’re not going to pay above a certain amount,” she says. “But, if it’s a regular job, you really like the person and they’re willing to do exactly what you need, then you need to pay them accordingly. Otherwise, you’re going to be changing sitters all the time.”
“A sitter can be unhappy due to erratic or unexpected schedule changes or a lack of time off.”
— Shay Bush, hiring manager for The Babysitting Company
2. Communicate your expectations
Good pay isn’t the only thing that keeps a babysitter happy, Bush says. They also need clear communication about what the job entails, as well as regular feedback about how they’re doing.
“The family should be honest about their needs, wants and what is expected of the sitter from the start,” Bush explains. “Additionally, they should have regular check-ins with the sitter to ensure both parties are still on the same page and to discuss any upcoming changes that may impact the professional relationship.”
3. Respect their time
If you’re always canceling on your babysitter at the last minute or calling them on short notice, you may be on the road to losing them. “A sitter can be unhappy due to erratic or unexpected schedule changes or a lack of time off,” Bush says.
Just as you need dependable care for your kids, babysitters need reliable employers that respect their time and the accommodations they make to be available when needed. Luckily, Bush says you can help prevent scheduling frustration by doing two simple things:
- Communicate if you will be late or need extra time during the week
- Offer to compensate them for last-minute cancellations
4. Be courteous and kind
“Even though the sitters are there to work, ensure they feel welcome in your home,” Bush says. “An act simple as offering them a glass of water and a snack if they are there for four hours or less and a meal if they will be there five or more hours makes all the difference.”
Additionally, she adds, if you have a regular sitter you love, remember them on birthdays and holidays. This can be as simple as sending a card or nice text. In some cases, you might also grab a gift card to their favorite store or restaurant. Small acts of kindness and care are a great way to win Brownie points, says Bush.
“You have to listen to what kind of hours and support they need to be able to keep working with your family.”
— Laurie Kline, head of the Babysitters Agency of West Los Angeles
5. Consider your babysitter’s needs, too
“What your family needs is important, but you have to ask what your sitter wants out of their role, too,” Kline says. “You have to listen to what kind of hours and support they need to be able to keep working with your family.”
For example, if your sitter wants a full-time gig during the summer, but you can only offer weekend hours, then that’s going to be a conflict. Similarly, if they need flexibility for school obligations or other life events, it’s important to try to accommodate that.
Lastly, adds Bush, don’t forget that child care can be mentally and physically taxing. Your babysitter needs a supportive work environment and to be able to come to you with any concerns.
“It is crucial for both parties to feel comfortable enough to advocate for themselves if something is not to their liking,” she says. “Everyone in the home should work as a team to care for the children, so all parties must be on the same page.”
