Getting older certainly has its perks, but many older people report feeling increasingly lonely and disconnected as they age. “As we get older, big life changes, like retiring or kids moving out, can lead to feeling isolated,” says Dr. Dakari Quimby, a clinical psychologist for Sleep Advisor. This is one reason why friendship is so important as we age, he adds: “Friends help keep loneliness at bay.”
The problem is that as we get older, it becomes harder and harder to make new friends. Retirement and not being in the workforce anymore can make it more difficult to meet people, as can our own medical or physical limitations. It can also simply be challenging to know where and how to find like-minded people who are also interested in new friendships.
Here, we’ll take a look at why friendship is important as you age, some expert tips on how to make new friends as you get older and ideas for reconnecting with older friends.
Why friendship is important as you get older
One main reason friendship is so vital as we age is to combat loneliness, Quimby shares. Social isolation is a major problem in the aging U.S. population. A 2023 poll published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that 37% of U.S. adults between the ages of 50 and 80 experienced loneliness. Moreover, 34% of this population reported feelings of social isolation.
As the years tick on, keeping up with friendships and making new friends becomes more important — not just to decrease loneliness, but to improve your overall mood and mental health, says Dr. Mary Poffenroth, a neurohacking biopsychologist and author of “Brave New You.” As she notes, research shows that being socially active increases “feel good” neurotransmitters like oxytocin and serotonin.
“These chemicals that make you feel good not only improve your mood and overall health, but they also strengthen the neural pathways in your brain that help you understand and process emotions and have empathy,” Poffenroth explains.
How to make friends as a senior
1. Join clubs or groups
Older adults and seniors might consider joining a group or a club that aligns with their interests, like a gardening club or book club. This is a great way to find new friends who share interests with you. “Having the interest is key — if you’re making yourself do something because you think it’s good for you, you’re less likely to get as much benefit from the activity,” says Christopher Norman, a board-certified geriatric nurse practitioner with Sleepopolis.
2. Try a local class
It’s never too late to learn something new, and signing up for a local educational course at a community college or recreation center is a great way to meet other seniors with similar interests. Norman suggests looking for classes that spark your interest, whether it’s art, fitness, finance, literature or learning another language. The best part? Many community education classes for seniors are low-cost or even free.
3. Volunteer
Volunteering is also a great way to make new friends, says Norman. You can volunteer through your local senior center, a religious institution or at your local library. You might also consider joining in local political causes or volunteering at a local soup kitchen.
“Friends often encourage us to stay active and make healthy choices, which can keep our hearts in better shape and our blood pressure in check.”
— Dr. Dakari Quimby, clinical psychologist
4. Join an exercise group
Along with friendships, exercise is a major component to staying physically and cognitively healthy as you age. So, why not combine the two? “Joining a walking group or exercise classes designed for seniors can be both healthy and social,” Quimby emphasizes.
5. Look for social opportunities in your community
Senior centers, libraries or other local institutions often have social events that are tailored toward seniors, Quimby points out. You should feel free to take advantage of these. These are typically free and attract other seniors who are also looking for new friends.
6. Leverage technology
These days, there are many ways to connect with others online, whether it’s finding local meet-ups, joining a virtual meet-up or using specialized apps to connect with others seeking friendship. “This can be a particularly useful tool for older adults who may have limited mobility or live in more isolated areas,” Poffenroth shares.
Of course, sometimes older individuals need assistance with tech stuff — this is where family members and caregivers can offer a helping hand.
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Ideas to reconnect with friends as a senior adult
Making new friends is important in your older years, but so is maintaining the friendships that you already have. Older age and retirement are great opportunities to reconnect with other friends. Remember, they are also likely looking for more social interactions during this stage of life.
Here are Quimby’s tip for reigniting old friendships:
- Initiate contact: Start by picking up the phone, shooting off an email or sending an old-fashioned letter to touch base.
- Set up regular get-togethers: Consider making plans to meet up regularly, whether it’s for coffee, a movie or just hanging out.
- Celebrate life events: Show you care by celebrating birthdays, holidays and other special occasions together.
- Relive memories: Spend time reminiscing about old times, which can remind you why you became friends in the first place.
“Keeping up with friendships in later years helps with emotional support during stress or grief.”
— Christopher Norman, geriatric nurse practitioner
The benefits of having friends as you age
Decreasing loneliness, warding off social isolation and improving mental health aren’t the only benefits to having good friends as you age. Here are some other perks to consider.
Emotional support
There are many life changes that happen during our golden years, and some of these involve losing friends and loved ones. Many older adults also live with the stress of illness or financial worries. “Keeping up with friendships in later years helps with emotional support during stress or grief,” says Norman.
Healthy lifestyle choices
Socializing gets us moving and out of the house. Additionally, making friends with other people who are prioritizing health can help us prioritize ours — kind of like having an accountability partner. “Friends often encourage us to stay active and make healthy choices, which can keep our hearts in better shape and our blood pressure in check,” says Quimby.
Cognitive wellness
Friendships can sharpen our mind and decrease the risk of cognitive issues. “The mental stimulation and emotional support inherent in these relationships appear to strengthen neural pathways and preserve cognitive function,” Poffenroth describes. As Poffenroth points out, multiple studies have found a strong link between socialization and lower risk of cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease and other neurological conditions related to aging.
The bottom line
Making friends is important for older people, because friendships decrease isolation and loneliness, keep you physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy and offer you a necessary support system as you navigate the challenges of aging.
Still, it’s not easy to make new friends during your older years. Remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. You can reach out to your friends and family members for help making new friends, too.
“Caregivers can support seniors by providing transportation to social events, assisting with modern technology for communication and coming with them to community functions to ease their participation,” Norman says. Your local Council On Aging or your local senior community center are also good resources for support.
