Deciding to end someone’s employment is never an easy decision, but sometimes employees simply aren’t the best fit anymore. Here’s how to fire a nanny, babysitter, senior caregiver or housekeeper responsibly.
1. Identify the issue
Before you rush to fire, identify why the caregiver isn’t working out. Are they minor things you can discuss and work on? Ask family members for input. This list will also give you tools to talk about termination with your caregiver in a professional, less personal manner. “You can’t fire someone just because you don’t like them,” says career expert and author, Cynthia Shapiro. “Stop and ask yourself what you don’t like, such as eye rolling or yelling at the kids.”
2. Establish clear expectations
An employee can’t be expected to meet your expectations if you haven’t communicated them clearly, preferably in writing. If you haven’t already, create an employment contract that spells everything out.Is your caregiver no longer following what’s written down? Or have your priorities changed and you need to update the contract? Communication might eliminate the need to make a change.Parents often “act out of fear and insecurity, rather than communicate what is expected and conversely, what is inappropriate,” says Paul Hokemeyer, a marriage and family therapist.
3. Create a paper trail
Document each conversation you have with a caregiver who isn’t up to par, stresses Shapiro. Then date them and both of you sign them. “Let your employee know, after one or two times of discussing the issue, that if the behavior continues, they will no longer be able to work for you.”
4. Make a decision and plan it out
If attempts to shift the situation have failed and, after careful thought, you know you can’t continue with your current caregiver, put the pieces in place to make a change. Take this time to set up your backup care plan so you’re not scrambling to find a caregiver for your child once your nanny is gone.
5. Have the talk
Schedule time for a short conversation. If you’re more comfortable having someone there with you, that’s fine, as long as you don’t let the caregiver feel ganged up on.The people who should absolutely not be there with you, however, are your kids. “There’s no need to expose children to this type of adult situation and this could also embarrass the caregiver,” shares author Tory Johnson.
6. Stay strong, but be compassionate
“Be sure you’re absolutely firm in your decision,” urges Johnson. “If you’re wishy-washy and you allow the caregiver to talk you out of it, you’re setting yourself up for a difficult situation moving forward.” But show compassion. Keep the conversation short and have it at the end of a business day. If possible, give notice or severance pay and never withhold payment for services already provided.
7. Answer unemployment questions
Unemployment benefits are for employees let go due to no fault of their own (for example your kids are now too old for a nanny). If you’ve been paying taxes, your caregiver may be eligible for these benefits. Let her know you’ll respond to the state’s inquiry, so as not to hold up the process.However, if you’re firing your caregiver due to performance, she’s not eligible for unemployment. But you may get an inquiry notice from the state if she has still applied. Provide the details about the termination truthfully. If you don’t answer, the state will pay the benefits and your unemployment insurance tax rate could go up.
8. Deal with final payment
States have labor laws that dictate when your employee must receive his/her final paycheck. Some states (like Virginia and Washington) require the employee be paid on the next available payday, while other states (like California and Massachusetts) require the final paycheck be given to the employee at the time of termination. Contact your state’s labor department to see what applies to your situation.
9. Offer a recommendation
Unless the termination was for safety issues or gross negligence, offer the caregiver a letter of recommendation. Someone who was not right for your family may be perfect for someone else’s.
Read more about How to Write a Letter of Recommendation
10. Ask for personal items
During this meeting, make sure you also get your keys back, as well as any personal property and credit cards your caregiver has.
11. Inform the appropriate parties
If your nanny or sitter has been picking your child up from school or day care, let the offices or teachers know immediately (both in person and in writing) that a change has been made. Inform your neighbors, if that feels necessary.
12. Talk to your kids
If the person moving on cared for your children, an abrupt change could be very startling to them. Explain the reasons for your decision, but be prepared for them to still feel upset.
Get tips on How to Handle the Nanny-Child Separation
Letting someone go is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary. By showing understanding and professionalism, you can make sure your family is well taken care of and able to move forward in a proactive, positive way.
