For many parents, back-to-school time can be riddled with anxiety and overwhelm. Thoughts of how they will go from a lax summer break to again letting the demands of homework, bus pickups, school activities, and parent-teacher conferences rule their social lives and calendar might be concerning. Not to mention the worry about being able to afford the rising cost of new clothes and school supplies for the first day of school. According to the National Retail Federation, families with children in elementary through high school plan to spend an average of $864 on school items during the 2022 back-to-school season.
On the other hand, the anticipation of the first day of school may also bring a sense of relief to parents who enjoy spending time with their children but are admittedly burned out from having to cater to their needs around the clock all summer. According to a recent study from The Ohio State University, the demand of school, work, and pandemic-related stress have led to 66% of parents feeling burned out and desperately in need of a break.
And yet, when the much-needed break from their children does arrive once school resumes, it’s not uncommon to have no idea how to mark the occasion or alter their routines.
“Suddenly being confronted with hours of alone time can be especially unnerving to parents with kids in school for the first time,” says Patrick Quinn, dad, former teacher and parenting expert at Brainly.
Reconnecting with old hobbies, friends, or professional goals is key during this time and should be considered in advance, he suggests. “This will help parents avoid the shock of unexpected loneliness or confusion on how to spend these free hours. Set a goal for yourself early,” Quinn adds, “to get into a routine that prioritizes you as a way to reclaim those hours as yours.”
“Set a goal for yourself early to get into a routine that prioritizes you as a way to reclaim those hours as yours.”
— PATRICK QUINN, DAD AND PARENTING EXPERT
With the first day of school being upon us, parents are running out of time to figure out how to celebrate, change routines, practice self-care or otherwise memorialize the milestone occasion.
To help spark your imagination, we spoke to 12 parents to learn how they spend their first few hours of freedom from kids on the first day of school. Here’s what they had to say:
1. Connect with your partner
“I always like to go on a coffee breakfast date with my husband because we get to have some real alone time, and we can have a conversation without being interrupted … It’s nice to have a conversation, catching up on life, where I can finish my train of thought while engaging in hand-holding and kisses.”
— Jennifer Chen, mom of 6-year-old twins, Los Angeles, California
2. Soak in peace
“I do a spontaneous happy dance after bus stop drop-off and then take an uninterrupted bath. I love daytime baths because of the natural sunlight that comes in through the window, but I never get to take one since they’re always shortened and abrupt when all the kids are home.”
Jamie Ng Rose, mom to a 10-, 8-, 5- and 2-year-old, Princeton, New Jersey
3. Sweat the stress away
“On the first day of school, I get a mani/pedi, I eat lunch out alone, and I sit in the sauna before picking the kids back up. It’s my way of celebrating a summer well spent with the kids while also mentally preparing for another school year.”
— Tia Smith, mom to an 11-,9- and 6-year-old, Atlanta, Georgia
4. Recommit to what’s best for your family
“[As homeschoolers], I’m not even sure we can say we have a true ‘first day of school.’ We take a family trip that serves me even more than the kids in some ways … Homeschooling is worth it, but it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. Seeing everyone on my Instagram feed with back-to-school pictures of their kiddos tends to stir up a tinge of FOMO for my mama heart. Knowing this, I want to be intentional in doing something that serves as a reminder of our ‘why’ for choosing this lifestyle for our family.”
— Colleen Carswell, mom to an 8-, 6-, 3- and 1-year-old, Waynesville, North Carolina
5. Go heavy on the ‘me time’
“While I love my child when she is home for the summer, the world tends to circle around her needs, such as having a friend over, spending the day in the pool, etc. All of those little things add up to a big loss of working time for me — even when I guard my time closely. As a work-from-home mom, I celebrate the first day back at school after a long break with a hefty dose of ‘me time.’ I’ll take myself to breakfast, wander the mall or have lunch with a girlfriend. After my ‘me time,’ I dive back into work, which is much easier after my mental break.”
— Kristina Knight, mom to a 10-year-old, Sandusky, Ohio
6. Celebrate with other parents
“On the first day of school, we gather a group of local moms for an at-home, mimosa-and-coffee bash. While many of us work, the first day is usually a short one and many of us take time off, so it’s a great opportunity to see each other and connect before the craziness of the school year begins. The moms are mostly from a new mommy meetup group we were a part of when our kids were infants. Over the years, we’ve collected other moms along the way.”
— Jaymi Torrez, mom to a 9- and 6-year-old, Long Beach, California
7. Energize your physical body
“I usually go for a celebratory jog or take my dog for a walk once the bus pulls away. It’s a great way to get some exercise and clear my head after being cooped up all summer. I also like to give myself a mini massage with an aromatherapy oil or lotion to help me relax.”
— Victoria Taylor, mom to an 11- and 4-year-old and a 4-month-old, Miami, Florida
8. Take back the house
“I work from home, so I always notice a huge difference when the kids finally go back to school, as I can work with some peace and quiet …In the last few years, I’ve celebrated by making myself a huge brunch and working from the sofa. I will usually go back to the office after the initial few days, but it’s just nice to have a free run of the entire house.”
— Rachel Fink, mom of seven in Pennsylvania
9. Have playtime with no rules
“I have two kids and, like all kids, they are mischievous and don’t let [my wife and me] have fun together. So my wife and I quickly decided it was a day to have spontaneous fun. Last school year, we did facials on each other. Wasting no time, we pulled all the accessories out and started applying creams to each other while chattering jokes. We took pictures and selfies, made reels of the moments and posted them on our social networks with different captions addressing our kids. Undoubtedly, we enjoyed this celebration, and later the kids were fascinated to see our laughter in the selfies and the reels.”
— Ronald Williams, dad to a 9- and 6-year-old, Los Angeles, California
10. Tap out of socials and tap into knowledge
“As much as possible, I don’t want to indulge myself in social media or Netflix when I have ‘free time.’ Instead, I take online courses or read new books. Besides, learning is also one of the best forms of ‘relaxation’ for me. The best celebration I got when my brother returned to school was that I started taking online courses again to expand my skills.”
— Arvie Narido, mom to a 3-year-old and legal guardian to her 9-year-old brother, Manila, Philippines
11. Savor the silence
“As a parent who has been working from home since the pandemic began, it’s been great to be able to spend more time with my kids. It’s also been a monumental test of my patience. That’s why, when the first day of school rolls around, I get my kids ready, get them off to school, come back home, brew that second cup of coffee and just sit there with my eyes closed, truly savoring the silence. If it’s possible, I’ll take the day off from work. If not, I’ll just take a little break for myself in the morning and start late because, for the first time since summer started, I can hear my own thoughts.”
— Laura Fuentes, mom to an 8- and 5-year-old, Boca Raton, Florida
12. Indulge in an adult meal
“My daughter is still small so she hasn’t had much schooling. However, I’ve found that my first-day ritual includes [shifting] from eating a piece of cheese or leftovers from her lunch to making a more extensive lunch for myself. I usually spend so much time putting her lunch together that it ends up looking like an extensive toddler-friendly charcuterie board. Then by the time I get to my lunch, I only have time for whatever scraps I can find. It’s nice to mark the first kid-free day with lunch to myself, minus the kid-friendly options.”
— Richard Butler, father to a 4-year-old, New York City
