How to forge a strong relationship with the children of your host family.
For au pairs who have just arrived at their new host family’s home, there is perhaps no greater way to ensure a pleasant and rewarding experience than by forging a good bond with the host children. When you get on well with the kids you will get a huge sense of job satisfaction and your daily routine will be much more pleasant.
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Here are steps you can take to create a good relationship with the host children:
1. Show interest
Kids really notice when you pay attention to them so it is important that you actively make time for them and their interests. Find out what games and activities they like and join in with them. You should also arrive at your host family with some ideas for age-appropriate activities to play with the kids. Ask them questions and pay attention to their answers. If you are constantly on your phone or locked in your bedroom with the WIFI, the kids will feel neglected and it will make your au pair experience unpleasant and unfulfilling.
2. Talk to the parents
Aside from the kids themselves, the parents are your best resource for finding out what the children like and don’t like. Don’t be afraid to ask the host parents questions about the character and interests of their kids. It is also useful to observe the parents during difficult situations with the children. You can see how they handle misbehaving and how the children react.
3. Set boundaries
While you are new, the thought of reprimanding the children might seem daunting and it can be tempting to let them get away with bad behaviour. It is important to address this early on in the relationship. While you want to maintain a fun, older sibling-like relationship, the children need to know that you are in charge and not take advantage of your new position. Talk to the parents and ask what you should do in the case of misbehaving.
4. Develop routines
After the first few weeks, you will settle into a regular pattern. It is best if you can create your own routine for your time spent minding the children. Whether it is going to the park after school, doing the homework together or having 30 minutes of reading time, it is important to establish routines and rituals with the kids. This will help them feel at ease and develop trust.
5. Give them time
If the kids don’t immediately warm to you, don’t be offended. For many children it can take a while before they become comfortable with somebody new. The important thing is to keep trying, pay attention to them and try and have fun. Eventually they will come around.
6. Build trust
Building trust is the key to any good friendship so it is important to be honest with the kids you are looking after. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If the only way to get them to settle down is to promise to go to the playground but you don’t have time, don’t promise that you will. Children will remember these moments and find you untrustworthy. If you build a safe and trusting relationship, this will reflect well in the eyes of the parents and they also will trust you more.
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