Your nanny has just texted you to say that she has some wonderful news to share tonight, once you have put the children to bed. How do you respond? You know exactly what it is – your nanny is pregnant. Do you get ready with the balloons and bunting, thrilled at her news? Or, are you worried about the impact the new arrival will have on your family?
Whatever your feelings, here are some top tips to help you navigate this new reality.
1. Don’t panic
If you have mixed emotions about this news, but you are not generally good at hiding your feelings, take a step back and give yourself and nanny time to absorb the news. You don’t need answers to some of those panicked questions immediately – will I ever find anyone to cover her maternity leave? Will she need time off during her pregnancy? Will she come back after her baby is born? Within reason, give your nanny time to decide these things by herself and in her own time.
2. Put yourself in her shoes
Don’t forget, you have been in this situation too – you had a boss to tell your news to, you put arrangements in place (your nanny being one of them!) and you have repaid your boss’s flexibility with loyalty and hard work. This could work just as well for your nanny employer/ employee relationship. Nanny expert Rosemary Albone knows that this is a two way street for nannies: “Let’s face it – sharing this news is going to have an impact on the family that the nanny works for. Your reaction is going to incorporate not only good wishes for nanny, but some element of the implications of the new situation for them too.” As long as both recognize the challenges for each party, things will go a lot smoother.
3. Look at your contractual obligations
Make sure that you know where you both stand before you have any in depth conversations about time off, ante-natal appointments, your nanny’s return to work, statutory maternity pay and other obligations. “Don’t forget, even though Statutory Maternity Pay is payable for 39 weeks, most payroll companies can claim this in advance on your behalf so that you are not out of pocket,” says Helen Harvey of Nannytax, the nanny payroll experts.
4. Go slow with the big decisions – but plan for all eventualities
After all, we’ve all been there. Does your nanny want to return to work, you keep thinking – does she even know yet, and can you count on her sticking to her plans? How will her decision impact your childcare plans? As you put cover plans in place for her maternity leave, make sure that you hire someone you are certain you would want to be in the role permanently, just in case.
5. Be prepared for her to ask to bring her baby to work
This one can stir up the most emotions. You understand why she wouldn’t like to leave her baby, but how do you feel about this? A lot may depend on your working pattern and your childrens’ activities, ages and so on. If you work from home, or if your children need driving long distances to school or other activities, you may decide this option is not for you. However, consider the other benefits for your family: continuity of care can be beneficial for you and your children, plus your children get a new playmate!
6. Help your children to understand your nanny’s pregnancy
Don’t forget, your children will need to adjust to this new situation. However, start things out on a positive footing and encourage your children to learn about pregnancy and child development – and tackle any concerns or jealousies as they arise.
