Finding Time for Yourself

 
Being with your family in your spare time can be just as important and valuable as time by yourself to do things for you.
 
Here’s the number one mistake most of us make when we have children; we think we automatically cease to exist as independent beings and must now instantly morph into our new role of Mother and only a mother.
 
 
The person we were before we had children disappears. The human. The woman who had interests and hobbies and a life outside nappies and playgrounds and exciting talk of pureed vegetables and nursery rhymes.
 
We think that if we spend any time on anything other than our children or being a mother, we are automatically a very bad, selfish mother.
 
This, of course, is absolutely ridiculous, unhelpful, and pointless. So as things go, it’s right up there with dying your eyebrows green and taping a grand piano to your forehead.
 
If we cease to be anything other than A Mother, we cease to be who we are. The person we’re in a relationship with won’t know who the heck we are any more and our children will be brought up with someone who is entirely empty when they are taken out of her life. That’s not good for anyone.
 
It’s entirely normal to change, as people, after we have children. They teach us things about life, other people and ourselves that we never knew existed. We become someone different – but not someone new. Somewhere under the piles of Lego and nursery rhymes and homework and music lessons is still you! The person you once were, and always will be.
 
Nurturing that person, giving her time and space to be who she is AWAY from her children, is not selfish, unkind or a sign that you’re a bad mother. It means you’re a rounded human being. And that will make you the best mother you can be.
 
Take some time for yourself. Do something YOU like to do. Spend time with yourself, away from everyone else.
 
It’s not only good for your children to see you being your own person, it’s also an investment in the person you will have to live with after your children leave home, for the rest of your life.