In ‘As You Like It’, Shakespeare wrote one of his most frequently quoted passages, about the Seven Ages of Man, from baby to schoolboy to old, dying man.
Any parent whose children have grown up a little bit, gone off to school and collected other children’s bad habits and nits knows that there are in fact seven ages of child, which could be summarised as: Cheeky, Exhausting, Stressful, Worse than I expected, Awful, Bloody Intolerable, and Nobody told me it was going to be like THIS!
As we stagger through these stages, reeling with the new horrors and challenges of each one, the one thing that strikes most of us is, ‘Oh, and I thought the LAST stage was bad – this is a thousand times worse!’
A recent study by Care.com of 2,000 parents, reveals that they feel children are at their most challenging age for mum and dad at the age of five, when they start school. To this, I, as a parent of teenagers, can only say ’Haha, just you wait!’.
It’s interesting to learn that after dealing with years of sleepless nights and terrible twos, so often described as The Worst Stage, it’s when their children start school that parents feel they face the most difficult problems so far, with fierce tantrums and teenage-like attitudes and ideals creeping in.
Oh, how we can wish to go back to that first stage – Shakespeare’s famous ‘infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.’ But of course we don’t really wish that. It’s too easy and careless to look back on things and remember them as easier than they were, and nobody at any stage of parenting wants to be told that they have it easy. At the time they’re in it, it isn’t easy at all!
The start of school is certainly a very challenging time for parents, and can come as something of an extra shock, because most of us imagine that things will get easier with them being at school all day. But in the Care.com survey, parents said they struggled to accept that their ‘baby is growing up’, as well as a new balancing act, juggling work with childcare outside of school hours or during holidays.
The influences on their son or daughter’s behaviour from other children as well as their youngster suddenly starting to answer back were new stresses that many parents found particularly difficult.
Certainly one thing that can help in all of the stages of childhood – and parenthood – is getting some HELP. Whether it’s childcare, help cleaning the house, looking after elderly relatives or dog walking, taking some of the huge amounts of stress and work we load onto ourselves can make a very challenging time easier to manage.
I’m dealing with teenage rebellion and eye rolls; others are struggling with temper tantrums and midnight feeds. Whatever stage you are at, know your limits and know when to get help. And if you are finding the start of school difficult, just remember; this is very normal, and you will all settle into your new roles soon. You’ll look back in a year and think how easy that was!
Every Stage of Childhood Comes with Challenges for Parents
Care.com's recent survey of 2,000 parents revealed that they feel children are at their most challenging age for mum and dad at the age of five, when they start school. To this, I, as a parent of teenagers, can only say ’Haha, just you wait!’.
