One nanny job I had always left me puzzled at the end of the day.
The Mum would come in, say a brief hello and then disappear upstairs for a bath and ask not to be disturbed. About half an hour later she’d come back downstairs and we’d all catch up with our news over a cup of tea.
After a few weeks she asked me how things were going and was there anything that either of us needed to change. I mentioned that I found her end of day routine disconcerting as the children were keen to catch up with her and they regularly expressed their frustration because they wanted to talk immediately. She explained that she was finding work and the commute stressful and that she needed a gap between her commute and home life so that she could really listen to what we all had to say about our day.It finally clicked. Mum needed some Me-time and I was the perfect person to make that happen. Once I understood that, I was able to put in place the right time and place for sharing updates.
How do you communicate with your carer?
The end of day catch-up should be an exchange of things that you’ve noticed, enjoyed, thought about and want to share with each other — rather than a checklist of things that have happened. Just as care providers share their news, it’s good to hear from parents how the evenings and weekends have been or anything significant that happened whilst you were not there that might be useful to know.
What information needs to be shared?
- Practical updates regarding meals
- Sleep changes or inconsistencies
- Medication
- Any falls or bumps
- Homework
- Share some of the funny comments that the children made
- Discuss anything that you’d like to follow up on. Don’t forget to get the children involved too. Some families might request a brief written diary page whilst others like to see a couple of photos or short video clips of your time together. Share the ‘wow’ moments but don’t forget the regular stuff too — it’s all relevant.
It’s also helpful to talk to families about what level of information they’d like when children reach significant developmental milestones, and make sure that your communication with them keeps them involved with first steps, new foods and other new experiences. It’s inevitable that parents may miss some of these, so when reporting back be sensitive to their feelings. If you’re really on the ball, try to document the moment in photo or video form. If the parents couldn’t be there, this is the next best thing.
When you’ve all decided how best to handle information exchanges, keep checking that everyone is happy with the arrangements. Remember that this doesn’t need to feel like an end of term report or that you are checking up on the nanny, it’s just a great way to firm up your partnership together as well as providing a healthy model for the children to see you working together.
How much is enough?
This will depend family to family, but the golden rule is to keep communication flowing. Try for every night, if not possible, touch base once a week.
What if I am not sure how to say something?
‘What do you think….?’, ‘I’m not clear about…..’ or ‘I’d appreciate your views on….’ are all useful conversation starters when you need to approach a subject but are not sure how to get started.
The final word
Always be honest with your information sharing because you know that the children you care for are also great communicators — and will no doubt add their version of events!
Mother and Norland nanny, Rosemary Albone has been working as a child care expert for over 20 years. She is passionate about working with children and understands the joys and challenges that come with being a care provider.
