With the media dominated with news over Kate Middleton expecting her second child any day soon, we at Care.com got to thinking – what it would be like to give birth right next door to the Royal delivery suite? What if Wills heard you swearing at the anaesthetist? Here’s some of the issues we thought most average mums would struggle with:
1. Keeping the noise down
Sadly, this has nothing to do with procreation – instead it is struggling not to bellow, yowl, shout or curse when you know that the first noise the heir to the throne might hear is you, shouting “TELL THEM I NEED AN EPIDURAL!”
2. Keeping tabs on little one
You know that moment when they whisk the baby away to get weighed, turn him upside down and pat him on the bum to make him cry, and all the other post-natal checks when you don’t have your precious bundle in your arms? And you know that weird nightmare you kept having about the wrong baby being brought back to you after that check? And you know that the only other people likely to be on that ward are … Kate and Wills? Now can you imagine how gutted that stroppy teenager will be when they finally get round to doing the DNA tests and your real child has to swap Kensington Palace for your cosy semi in Surrey. Oh dear.
3. Oops! Wrong room
This is that wonderful moment when in Room One, Kate will be coiffed, made-up and ready to smile at the in-laws – who come along and knock at Room Two and are greeted by your unmade-up face and crazed expression. “Good Morning Ma’am,” you mumble.
4. Getting papped in the car park
You and your husband are valiantly struggling with the latest technology in car seats and juggling baby. “Which way round does it go? What – the baby? No! The seat!” – when Fleet Street’s finest come along and pap you in your fluffy slippers with a wailing baby on your hip, while the real Royal couple make a quick exit.
5. Post-natal fitness sessions
Do you remember those lovely fitness cum coffee mornings back at the hospital or with your baby group friends? When you bring the babe along and do some gentle exercises to whale song? How awful would it be to do those with someone who looks quite so mega gorgeous as our Kate – just when you thought your body image could not get any worse … here is the world’s most beautiful and most photographed woman to put you to shame on your yoga mat.
We want to hear from all of you who are expecting in April. Tell us, is the Royal Baby more of a talking point with friends and family than your bundle of joy? Are you going to be in the same ward with Kate as well? We’d love to hear from you!
