Once upon a time, children were sent up chimneys and told not to come down again until it got too hot, but even then, if they could stay there it would be better. Nobody is quite sure what they did up there, but my guess it was just to get them out of the way, so the adults could play cards.
These days child cruelty is frowned upon, which has made the lives of parents a good deal harder, but probably those of the children a tad better.
More seriously though, I am often asked about household jobs and ‘chores’, and whether children should a) be made to do any, and b) get paid if they do. With a recent survey by Care.com revealing that 41 per cent of parents need a helping hand with the cleaning, childcare, general day-today errands and shopping, it’s no surprise that we look to help from anyone… including the children! But should they get paid? And how much?
Clearly any sensible answer has to contain some kind of age/physical and mental ability qualification. Asking a baby to do the laundry while her two-year-old brother – the slacker! – washes the toilets with bleach and gives the living room a quick once-over with the hoover probably isn’t very sensible.
The word ‘chore’ however is very hard to even say without feeling a sense of immense hardship and woe. It sounds as if you’re being beaten with sticks while doing the washing up. I prefer ‘jobs’, or just ‘tasks’.
It’s not barbaric to ask a seven-year-old to set the table. It’s not cruel to ask a 12-year-old to make their bed, and empty the dishwasher. It’s just…what we all do to help out and be a part of team us.
But should we pay them?
Payment is an interesting one. It often divides parents, where one thinks jobs should be an expected part of family life, and the other thinks they’re a way of earning a little extra pocket money. In my family we fall somewhere in the middle, and it seems to work;setting and clearing the table, making their beds, tidying their rooms and helping with the cooking, are expected parts of family life.
Emptying the dishwasher, folding away the laundry and doing a big load of washing up get put on a tally chart, and my children get 20p per job. This is added up at the end of the month – minus all the tallies they have quite clearly lied about. Nice try, kiddo.
This approach works for us. But really, it is important for children to have a sense of contributing and helping out, and being part of the family and all the jobs it involves, from a very early age.
There is the rather sickly but absolutely true point to remember, which is that helping out, for no reason other than to help out, is FUN.
Yes, it really is. It gives children a sense of achievement, belonging and pride. But they won’t know it, until they do it.