Finding childcare, that fits your schedules and suits your children, is a difficult task for many parents. When there’s no replacing Mum and Dad it can be tough to find someone who really ‘clicks’ with your child. When your child has special needs, the task of finding childcare can become even challenging.
Whether it’s respite care, a long overdue date-night or a full-time special needs carer, the trepidation remains the same: How can I find someone with the right skills to care for my child?
If you’re looking for respite care, a babysitter for the occasional date-night, or the perfect full-time special needs nanny, the big question remains the same: How can I find a child carer with the right skills and experience for my child?
We’ve thought about the key questions parents should ask when searching for a special-needs carer:
Step 1: Know Your Choices
There are several factors that can influence what type of childcare you might choose for your child. Whether it’s an in-home nanny, a childminder or a private daycare facility – there are a lot of options to choose from, but there will inevitably be one that suits your family better.
If choosing daycare, it is always a good idea to visit the nursery or in-home care provider and watch their interaction with children. Know that nurseries vary in their structure, philosophy, and child to caregiver ratio. How does your child react to the group and noise? And don’t be afraid to ask about employee turnover. This is a good indicator of how staff members are treated and compensated.
A childminder, or in-home childcare, is a more intimate option, as the facility is someone’s home and the provider to child ratio is much smaller. Traditionally the carer is a mother caring for her own child and opts to care for several others as well. It’s important that you talk about your child’s needs upfront to ensure the provider is able to offer appropriate care for your child and has the necessary registrations and professional credentials. If not, pursue another source.
Lastly, a special needs nanny (either part-time or full-time) would work in your home, around your schedule. You would be in charge of hiring this person, checking professional credentials and running a DBS check. You will also need to seek opportunities to engage your child in social settings. Many families hire a nanny they trust and then train them around their child’s needs and provide access to a support group or social circle.
Step 2: Specify Your Needs
Above all, a nanny or babysitter should exhibit certain qualities and characteristics. Most importantly is his or her willingness to learn the specifics of your child’s medical or behavioural needs and be trained on them, while partnering with you in developing a care plan that reflects your needs as a family.
The severity and characteristic of the special need will dictate what a parent will need. For instance, for children who are medically fragile parents will seek care providers who have the medical certifications or depth of experience in the care of your child.
Write a list of the most critical factors for you, including what you consider to be deal-breakers. If there’s no outdoor space to play, do they at least take daily walks or visit the playground regularly?
Talk to your child’s specialists or other parents in the community who have children with special needs (you can often find them on online forums, on sites such as on Mumsnet) about how to prioritise your list and even to suggest criteria you may have overlooked.
You’ll want a caregiver who is willing to be part of an early intervention team. Consider looking for opportunities for the caregiver to receive professional development in the child’s area of concern.
Step 3: Start the Search
Where are you going to find these wonderful providers to care for and love your child? There are many options and you should try several. A personal recommendation from someone you trust is golden, so ask friends, your medical support team, or post a query to a local online community. Also, try care-matching websites like Care.com to post a job and meet candidates.
However you meet potential caregivers, start with phone interviews and proceed to in-person meetings (Care.com recommends doing these in public places such as a local café or library). Arm yourself with a list of questions such as, “How do you handle tantrums,” “What experience do you have with children who share the same disability as my child,” and “Are you certified in child safety and CPR?”.
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Once you’ve narrowed down your list, do your due diligence by calling references and running criminal record checks (DBS/PVG checks) and reference checks.
The final step is the trial run. Make a playdate with your child and your finalist(s) to see if the chemistry’s right.
Step 4: Remember To Think About Your Feelings
Do the caregivers ask you how you are? How do you feel about the care environment? Parents have very good instincts about what’s best for their child.
It’s important to think of it as a relationship triangle: the parent, the caregiver, and the child. All three need to be in harmony in order for this to work. It’s really important to give your caregiver respect as a professional. Understand that you are partners in supporting your child.
Step 5: Remember that Your Child Is More than His or Her Disability

Often on the top of every parent’s wish list of qualities in a caregiver is that they value the child as an individual. It’s essential that your child enjoys the company of their carer and that they have fun together.
These are all critical steps in finding the right caregiver but don’t discount your intuition. If you’re looking for further advice on finding special needs care and how to afford it, take a look at websites such as SEN Magazine and their article ‘What’s happening to benefits?’.
At the end of the day, the person you really want is someone who loves your child. Someone who appreciates and enjoys your child and someone you really like and trust.