Caring for a child with special needs –educational or physical disability – brings huge rewards and satisfaction for the carer. Inevitably there are stress factors and difficulties that the carer, child and their family will encounter. As with childcare in general, there isn’t necessarily a ‘one-size-fits-all’ solution to finding the right carer for a little one with special needs. Rosemary Albone, our nanny expert at Care.com has put together some essential advice for those caring for a child with special needs:
1. Make sure carers get the support they need:
If you’re thinking about employing someone to care for your child, communication is essential to ensure the new carer understands your child’s needs. Trust is essential between
childcarers and families: being confident in your carer’s understanding will only increase that trust, which is a great support for carers. Consistent interaction with parents on a daily basis to share news, achievements and concerns is also essential support for carers, said Rosemary Albone. As a parent, it is essential that you are also aware of any appropriate support groups that could offer guidance and a chance to talk about things. It’s also a great idea to refer your childcarer to these groups – it will give them the opportunity to ask questions and develop their understanding of your child’s needs. It is also important that you consider respite and breaks for carers – everyone needs a break, and breaks allow people to return to their responsibilities with a new lease of life.
2. Notice the signs of stress and tackle them straight away:
Increased sickness, overlooking regular tasks, falling behind on routines and neglecting yourself are all signs that someone may not be coping as a carer. If you or your carer have stopped attending activities outside of your work and care responsibilities, such as going to the gym and having dinner with friends – then it could be a sign of stress or depression. Make sure you’re aware of these signs in either yourself or your carer – and address them as soon as possible. Offer your carer a bit of respite and ask them if you can offer them more support; if you feel it’s right and you’re comfortable talking to them about it, perhaps suggest talking to their doctor about their general health and well-being.
3. Start each day afresh:
When you care for a child with special needs and their siblings it is easy to worry about how much time and attention you spend on each child. However, every individual and every situation is different, so there is no perfect formula on how much time you should spend with each child. Finding a ‘balance’ can be misinterpreted as spending ‘equal’ time. Balance should be about responding to need, but also recognising that some days it’s not going to feel that way. Take each day as it comes, and try not to fret too much about how you spend your time – easier said than done, but anyone with care responsibilities needs to be easy on themselves.
It’s also a great idea to consider explaining things to the children; who are often more understanding and accommodating than we think, if given the chance to express their caring side. Explain as best you can, using words they understand why occasionally their sibling needs more physical attention. Also, remember – you can give verbal attention to one child whilst holding another.
Mother and Norland nanny, Rosemary Albone has been working as a child care expert for over 20 years. She is passionate about working with children and understands the joys and challenges that come with being a care provider.
