Helen Egan is a Pharmacy Manager at Boots and has just has her first baby. Helen talked to Care.com about how she feels about going back to work and the childcare decisions she has made.
My daughter Alexia is nearly six months old and I’m going back to work in a couple of months. And I’m absolutely terrified! It fills me with horror. It’s not going back to work itself, it’s just the fact that I’m not going to see her all day. It’s that egotistical mummy thing of wondering how she’s going to cope without me.
Alexia is such a sociable little creature that when it came to childcare, we decided that the best thing would be to send her to a nursery. I went around lots of nurseries with Alexia and found one we think we might like. We did look at care in the home, but I think I was a bit worried that she might miss out on some of the experience of socialising with other kids. It will be a case of seeing how it goes.
The other thing we’ve been considering recently is doing part-time nursery and part-time nanny because that way she’s getting both the socialising and the one-to-one attention.
But the thing about care in the home is that I don’t really know where to start or what to ask. Knowing about Care.com allows me to consider that option now. Getting help with things like checking references would be absolutely fantastic. I’ve always worked for a big company so I’ve never had to go through anything like that.
The thing I’m most dreading about going back to work is leaving Alexia. I’ve only just stopped breastfeeding, so we’ve literally been together every second of every day for six months. It’s going to be a bit of a shock for both of us. The fact that I went through such a challenging time conceiving makes Alexia all the more special.
All my friends always said to me that you love them, but when they cry at 3 o’clock in the morning you wonder why you had children in the first place. But even when she cries, it’s never bothered me once. I’ve never felt any resentment; I just look at her and think how lucky I am to have her.
The thing I’m looking forward to most about returning to work is having grown-up conversations – I’m really looking forward to being me again.
Click here to read about how Helen coped with miscarriages and problems conceiving, and her advice for anyone in a similar situation.