Chances are, if you are reading this as a new parent you might be tired, a little anxious and very bonded with your little person. Having a baby is up there with some of the most stressful events any parent or family can undertake. There are moments when – with tired, worried and emotional – we would just like to curl up under the duvet – or scream from the rooftops.
Even if cool as a cucumber the rest of the time, worries assail the new parent as soon as the little one arrives. Is the cot in the right place? Why won’t he go to sleep? Should I wake her from her nap?
Flurries of anxiety that flit through your mind – but you deal with there and then – are a natural reaction to a massive life event. Mention them to any other new parent and you will soon find yourself bonding over the irrational anxieties that make up new parenthood.
However, when you’re so convinced that these are likely events, that it stops you from living your life the way that you would like, it may be time to seek help. Rest assured that asking for help is a sign of strength – looking after yourself is vital for your family.
Here are 5 tips from the experts on managing anxious thoughts or physical symptoms:
1. Start the Conversation
Discuss how you feel with someone you trust – GP, partner or close friend. Sometimes just having the conversation can help you feel less alone and give you the support that you need to get back on track. On line forums such as Headcase, started by writer and journalist Liz Fraser to share people’s experience of “head wobbles”, can help you to make sense of what you are experiencing.
2. Look After Yourself
Eating well and getting regular exercise can help with your physical and mental wellbeing. Avoiding caffeine and sugar will cut out “rushes” and then “lows” afterwards, and can help contribute to a good night’s sleep. Exercising regularly can give you a sense of wellbeing as physical activity releases helpful, positive brain chemicals. Getting into shape can be a helpful boost to your self esteem as well.
3. Meditation, Mindfulness & Yoga.
The organisations that back Mental Health Awareness Week, counsel giving your mind space to be calm and still. Using meditation or mindfulness (being alive in the moment) and yoga (a blend of physical movement and meditation), gives you an outlet to find a quiet space to relax and approach your daily life with renewed energy or strength.
4. Know Your Limits.
If you are experiencing chronic or acute anxiety episodes, think carefully about how far you extend yourself as a parent. If friends or family are leaning on you too much, leaving you no time for yourself or your own children, consider how you can gently let go of some of those burdens. If you keep a record of what triggers your anxiety and you can identify the worst triggers, then you can avoid those situations until you are better equipped to deal with them.
5. Get Help
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be immensely helpful – giving you the tools to rationalize and control a lot of what it happening to you. CBT can be delivered in many different ways, in person with an individual therapist or online via new resources such as Thinkwell, run by PsychologyOnline.
