My due date is only two weeks away. And as the clock ticks, my partner and I are getting more and more excited to meet our little one. But, there’s still a nagging question on our minds: Can we do this? I know that in reality we might fail at times, but as I wait for this baby to arrive, this is what I want him/her to know…
Dear Little One,
We don’t know you yet. We’ve seen your face all squished, and witnessed you yawn and smile on ultrasound TV. But we don’t know who you are or what you’ll become. When I watch the news and read the headlines, my thoughts now turn to you – how will this affect your life which is only just about to begin, how can I protect you from any hurt or danger, and how can we give you every opportunity to succeed at what you love?
The worry I feel as a parent seemed to begin the moment I found out I was pregnant. First, it was for your overall health. Then, it was the food I was eating. Now, as you’ve taken over most of my body, I wonder if I am squishing you. And I actually find myself wondering if you are comfortable enough.
I can’t wait to not feel so separated from you. I want to hold you in my arms and feel your little hand wrapping around my finger, or your beautiful eyes holding my gaze. I can’t wait for the day when you look at me as if you know I’m your Mom.
We are opening up a world to you, but you have already opened up our world. I sit in bookstores on weekends searching for the children’s books that we’ll read to you. I spend my mornings and evenings preparing school waitlist applications and meeting with prospective child caregivers whose loving hands I can leave you in. And I have spent countless hours researching prams and car seats and high chairs – and redecorating our second bedroom with toys and games and fluffy friends. The world of fairytales, imagination, art and play is now ours!
We haven’t met yet, but already I know that my life and world will no longer be mine. It is yours, and all I will want and love and feel and fear, will be for you. We don’t have that overwhelming sense that we ‘can do this’. But what I most look forward to is the first few moments that I hold you in my arms – when it will just be you, your Dad, and me. That’s when we’ll know.
Love your Mom-to-be,
Katherine
A Letter to My Baby
