True story: My mom’s friend Lori had a babysitter who shoplifted while watching her child and got caught by the police. Total nightmare for a parent.
While shoplifting on the job is an obvious no-no for a babysitter, there are a lot of behaviours you might not realize aren’t OK. The consequences? It may make you seem unprofessional, put the kids in danger or break the parents’ trust in you. In fact, a majority of parents say finding a babysitter they like and trust is stressful—and a reason not to hire someone altogether.
To make sure you get hired—and keep getting hired—here are 12 things you should never, ever do while babysitting.
1. Don’t take the kids out of the home without permission
To prevent worry and safety concerns, parents should always know where their child is. If you’ve been hired for a date night or regular after-school babysitting job, they’re assuming you and the kids are going to stay homebound.
Before you take someone’s child somewhere, you always need to get the parent’s permission in advance, unless there’s an emergency.
In the same vein, if you do have permission to take the children somewhere and you don’t go, the parents should know that, too. If the child was supposed to be going to a soccer game, but you decide not to take them because they’re sick, you need to talk to the parents before changing plans.
2. Don’t take or post photos of the kids
You should never post pictures of other people’s kids on social media. This is a privacy issue. It is very important to respect parents’ wishes not to have their kids’ names and photos on the internet, unless you have the parents’ explicit permission.
The majority of parents ask caregivers not to post photos of their children on social media. Your employer might not want you to even take pictures, so always ask first.
3. Don’t be on your phone.
It’s not just taking pictures. You shouldn’t text, talk or use your cell phone at all while you’re on the job, except to communicate with the parents. Parents are expecting you to be 100% focused on watching their children. In fact, 76% of parents say they don’t want their sitter to be distracted by their phone.
It’s a good idea to put your phone away in your bag or purse, and you might want to communicate with the parents on how frequently you should check your messages. Because when you’re on your phone, you’re not with the children.
4. Don’t smoke, drink or do drugs
Some sitters might think it’s OK to relax with a glass of wine after the kids go to bed, but remember you’re still on the job while the kids are sleeping. In case they wake up or there’s an emergency, you’ll need to stay sharp and fully responsible.
In general, you should never smoke, drink alcohol or take drugs while working. Tobacco use of any kind can be seen as unprofessional, even when indulged in outside, as the smell will stick to your clothes.
If you’re a smoker, consider quitting or stocking up on nicotine gum if you’re unsure you’ll last the whole job without craving a cigarette.
5. Don’t make the family’s business public
When I asked friends about negative babysitter experiences, several of them mentioned their sitters gossiping or saying negative things about them to others.
Let’s say you decide to text the kids’ former nanny to complain about how whiny they are, but you accidentally send the text to the parents instead. That would be an embarrassing situation for everyone, and you might even end up getting yourself fired.
Even if you send the text to the right contact, your complaints could easily get back to your employer, so be careful what you say or type. Even if you’re not complaining, any information should be handled discreetly. For example, if you’re asking an online forum or other sitters for advice, you always want to keep your employers’ identities and correspondence private.
It’s not professional to post screenshots of your text conversations with parents. What you could do instead is describe the situation in your own words. This also avoids the risks of identifying information in the screenshot and statements being taken out of context.
6. Don’t watch inappropriate shows or videos
Your babysitting job isn’t the place to catch up on “Ozark” or revisit “Sex and the City.”
If a kid enters the room and sees something scary or questionable on screen, you might be in for an awkward conversation.
May we recommend a little HGTV instead?
7. Don’t introduce new or controversial discipline
It’s important, before you babysit for the family, that you’re clear on the rules of the house and how misbehaviour is usually handled. That way, you can implement the same disciplinary strategies the parents usually do—taking away TV time or timeouts, for example. In discipline, consistency is important.
And it might be obvious, but babysitters should never abuse, spank or yell at kids. If you can’t keep your own behaviour and emotions in check, you shouldn’t be babysitting in the first place.
8. Don’t give kids food or medication without permission
A lot of parents would be very unhappy and uncomfortable if a babysitter gave their child medicine without checking first.
Even if the child has a fever and the parents told you where the Tylenol is, you should definitely get it approved before administering it.
Also, before the job, ask the child’s parents what specific snacks and/or meals are OK to give them while they’re away. They may only want the child eating certain foods or have house rules about things like candy or junk food. That way, when the kid asks for something to eat, you know whether or not it’s OK to give it to them. If you’re unsure, even if it seems harmless, you should say no.
It’s a good idea to communicate with your employer on what meals and snacks are allowed—and what is off-limits. As a babysitter, it’s not up to you to decide whether to give the child what they want. They could have an allergy, or there might be a certain rule against it. Since it’s your job to enforce the rules of the family you work for, you need to make sure you know about all of them in advance.
9. Don’t host visitors
It might seem fun to invite a friend or a significant other to keep you company while you’re sitting—babysitters do it all the time in the movies. But this one is another firm no.
When you’re accepting an hourly wage, that means you’re on the job and should be devoting your time to that family, not to your friends. Plus, if someone comes over, you’re responsible for them, and you will be liable if anything goes wrong.
10. Don’t cross boundaries
Resist the urge to open medicine cabinets, dresser drawers or closet doors unless it’s something you need to do to care for the child, like getting their pajamas at bedtime. The family you’re sitting for has welcomed you into their home, but remember that crossing certain boundaries invades their privacy.
This includes using the family’s devices such as their personal computer. You shouldn’t do this, and you certainly shouldn’t use your own social media accounts on their devices.
There’s also a level of personal space and decorum people expect from their sitters.
It should go without saying that you shouldn’t drink straight out of containers in your employers’ fridge or make yourself too much “at home” in similarly uncomfortable ways.
11. Don’t cancel at the last minute
When sitters cancel on families, it can wreck their plans and cause stress. Whether it’s a much-deserved night out or an important work meeting they’re attending, you want to show your employers you respect their time and avoid cancelling as much as possible.
Obviously, everyone gets sick from time to time, though, and in that case, you should cancel. If possible, try to give your employers at least 24 hours’ notice, and if you can’t, think about providing a doctor’s note. If you’re working with an agency, they’ll find a replacement. If not, give them a referral to another sitter you trust.
12. Don’t forget to clean up after yourself (and the kids)
Don’t leave things looking like a bomb went off.
Babysitting can certainly get hectic, but take a little time to clean up small messes throughout the job, so they don’t become a huge mess. For example, if the kids take out a toy, have them put it away before moving on to the next activity. If you give them lunch, put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher when they’re done. You may not have been hired to do housekeeping duties, but you are expected to maintain the status quo of the home while you’re there.
Consistency is important for parents. They want to come home to the house they know and find it in its regular state with routines being reserved as usual. If a parent feels they can trust that their instructions and wishes will be followed while you’re there, they will call you again.