“What are you going to do about it?!”
That’s what an 8-year old friend of my son’s said to me as I was driving him to practice the other day. He was telling Your Mama jokes and I’d asked him to stop – repeatedly.
So I said: “How about I drive you right home instead of to practice – and tell your mom you were being rude?”
He was quiet for the rest of the ride.
And did I tell his parents? No. They’re friends and it would have made things awkward. But I should have. Because I would want someone to tell me if my kid was a total jerk. (P.S. Thank God he didn’t call my bluff because I probably wasn’t going to turn the car around and drive him home.)
We parents need to have a pact. We need to be able to safely tell each other when our kids are out of control, overly aggressive and rude.
My kids are not on my watch for the majority of the day. They go from school to an after-school activity or a playdate, home quickly and then to bed. So they’re with teachers, coaches, a sitter or a friend’s parents for most of their awake hours. So how can I know if their behavior sucks if no one tells me? Sure, teachers and coaches report on performance and overall behavior. But would they tell me if my kid was an obnoxious pain that they dreaded seeing every day?
We’re all afraid that a bad kid means bad parents. And in many cases it could, but not always. Look at it this way — how many of us know siblings who have completely different personalities? They have the same parents. They were most likely raised the same way. But one may act spoiled or entitled and rude. While the other is a total sweetheart.
So in the case where you like the parents and know this is not a reflection of them – we should be able to say: “Hey, we had to have a tough talk in the car. The attitude got out of control – and I wanted you to know.”
Good parents will ask for specific details and follow up with other parents to make sure this type of rudeness doesn’t happen again.
So please – if my kid is your nightmare, tell me. I will be horrified, but I will use this as an important parenting lesson and work with my child to ensure this doesn’t keep happening. Parents, teachers, coaches, nannies, we are all in this together – we need to help each other out to raise kind, respectful, generous, loving people. Who’s with me?!
Tell me, how would you tell a parent their kid was rude?
