It’s not an easy time to be a parent. Since the spring of last year, many families have juggled the challenges of distance learning, working from home and repeated periods of being in lockdown. As a result, kids are spending a lot more time on screens. A new piece in The New York Times warns that experts are “alarmed” at the skyrocketing amounts of time kids are spending on electronics, but with families confined to their houses and the pandemic still raging all over the country, many parents are wondering: What the heck do the experts expect?
The NYT piece cites research that shows kids’ screen time nearly doubled in 2020. The research also finds the amount of time U.S. kids spent on screens increased monthly throughout most of the year. For example, The NYT reports children spent an average of 57 minutes per day on YouTube in February 2020, but by April, that number had ratcheted up to 97 minutes.
“Nearly a year into the coronavirus pandemic, children are sliding into an all-consuming digital life,” says an excerpt on The NYT Twitter account. “Some parents and scientists are unified in concern about potential long-term consequences.”
Researchers’ worry that too much screen use could harm kids developmentally, but the sudden panic over screens has many parents questioning what exactly they’re supposed to do to solve the problem.
Podcast: What’s “too much screen time” for kids in the era of COVID-19
The U.S. just set a record for COVID-19 hospitalizations and deaths for the third week in a row. The country is adding almost 143,000 new cases of the virus every day, and it’s unclear when anyone will be able to return to some semblance of “normal” life. For many families, screen time has become a daily requirement. Distance learning is a non-negotiable screen activity, and kids also need to use screens to socialize with friends, read, play games or do other activities that take their minds off of the scary situation much of the country is facing.
Given this new reality, parents are annoyed that researchers would even bother with doomsday-style concern about screens when most families simply have no other options.
“I do not want to read your hot take about kids and screens during a once in a lifetime pandemic,” writes one mom on Twitter. “We are all doing our g*dd*mn best. I will not add some bullsh*t parent shaming fear based judgement to my already overly long list of surviving right now.”
Others echo her sentiments. “Shaming parents for letting their kids indulge in screen time when we’ve had kids die of this virus, kids’ lives have been upended, they’re losing loved ones and are scared, too,” another Twitter user writes. “On top of totally overloaded and exhausted parents? Yeah. Anyone shaming needs to eat a dirty sock.”
One person suggests finding family activities that don’t involve screens, but as another parent points out, that just isn’t possible for most people right now. “Sure,” she writes. “Do you have any suggestions for activities that will entertain them all day for 365+ consecutive days, while my husband and I work full-time with no childcare?”
It’s not that parents have suddenly dropped all their fears about kids spending hours each day staring at a tablet or TV. Experts have said for years that parents need to limit and monitor the time kids spend on electronics, and parents are well aware of the issue. But a pandemic is an emergency situation. Parents are without child care, and kids are without friends, teachers and even grandparents. The last thing any mom or dad needs is to be shamed for how they’re coping, or to be told they’re somehow permanently damaging their child because they need to rely on Netflix more than usual in the middle of a global catastrophe.
“I have let my kid be on her phone in a way I would never normally allow because she cannot see her friends,” a parent on Twitter explains. “It has been a lifeline. When this nightmare starts to recede we can discuss screen time. Until then, [I’m] not listening to fear mongers and parent shamers. Tend your own garden.”