The 10 best parenting tweets of the week

Once again, the fantastic moms and dads of Twitter helped the rest of us remember we are not alone on this wonderful, mind-blowing, and sometimes loogie-hawking ride called parenthood. Here are the best parenting tweets for the week of May 11-17, 2019.

1. Nine-year-old kid or a 39-year-old bachelor?

I thought I put my 9 year old to bed hours ago and he just casually walked out of the playroom and said, “Think I’ll go to bed now, I’m beat.”

It’s 11:15 pm.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 14, 2019

2. File this under NOPE.

My husband and I try to agree on what lessons we teach the kids, but he never consulted me on the “it’s ok to hawk a loogie into plants” stance. #imomsohard

— Kristin & Jen (@imomsohard) May 14, 2019

3. Keeping therapists employed for all eternity.

https://twitter.com/JimmerThatisAll/status/1128711640533413888

4. This dad should be proud.

6-year-old: *watches TV*

Me: Go use you imagination. You can be anything.

6: I'm a person watching TV.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 14, 2019

5. Coming soon, only on the dark web.

An episode of Moms Gone Wild where I don't make my family use coasters, and wash lights and darks together.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) May 15, 2019

6. Hey, this isn’t lost change and cookie crumbs.

As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And if it is broke, my kid probably shoved part of it between the couch cushions

— The Dad (@thedad) May 16, 2019

7. {{Chewing}}: Mom, look what I found under my wagon.

Toddlers are weird, they won't eat what you give them, but if you leave it outside for weeks they will find it themselves and eat it.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 16, 2019

8. Where have you been all my life?

So, if your house is always a mess…
And your kids don't get baths every day…
And the laundry is never done…
And you never get around to all those things you've been meaning to get done…

You wanna come over for coffee and not judge each other? Because you're my people.

— Ohio mom of two 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ #BLM (@OhioMomoftwo) May 16, 2019

9. Parenting win. ?

At dinner tonight, my son crawled under the table and bit his brother’s leg.

I’m just happy he ate something.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 17, 2019

10. Welcome to the rest of your life.

Escape Room theme for future parents: finding all the shoes, clothes, library books and backpacks before the timer runs out.

— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) May 16, 2019

by Nicole Fabian-Weber

Expertise:
Parenting, Lifestyle

Education:
BS in Communications/Screenwriting, Ithaca College

Highlights:
• Care Contributing Writer & Editor
• Bylines on What to Expect, Parents, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Shape, McSweeney's, Bustle, Romper and more
• Former TV writer
• Certified Yoga Instructor, reiki practitioner, gardening enthusiast

Experience:
Nicole Fabian-Weber is a writer and editor with over a decade of experience working for parenting and lifestyle websites and magazines. She lives outside of New York City with her husband and three children.