Besides sleep, parents are desperately in need of one thing: a good laugh. From a child’s embarrassment timeline (it’s a long one!) to the funny games moms can play on their little ones, here are the best parenting tweets for the week of July 13-19, 2019.
1. When you find the silver lining.
Yes, it's sad when your kids get older but on the bright side you don't ever have to sing Wheels on the Bus again.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 14, 2019
2. Who says kids don’t have manners?
Girl twin told me breakfast was ‘splendid’ so we shall be taking tea and scones in the drawing room this afternoon if you need us
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 16, 2019
3. In case you’re wondering if it ever ends.
https://twitter.com/MommaUnfiltered/status/1150851512744259584
4. Well, when you think of it that way …
Kids may dance like nobody's watching, but they also pick their nose like nobody's watching. So we'll call it a draw.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) July 15, 2019
5. Hey, whatever works.
When I'm rocking the baby to sleep, my brain suddenly forgets every lullaby ever, so I sing whatever pops into my head.
Anything from the Beatles to Celine Dion, to country women singing about killing their husbands for cheating on them. You know, relaxing stuff.
— 🖤 Just Heather 🖤 (@weedswildflowrs) July 16, 2019
6. Good to know!
https://twitter.com/UnFitz/status/1151515455892406274
7. Beware the wrath!
When you mindlessly cut your kid's sandwich into squares instead of triangles and your whole world collapses around you.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 17, 2019
8. But … just … OK then.
Me: where is your dress?
3: I took it off
Me: why?
3: because I’m going to the hot dog storeI have so many questions
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 17, 2019
9. It kind of has a nice ring to it?
My 8-yr-old daughter just called my chest “thing-a-ma-boobs”.
Imma go do some pushups now.
— Jonesy the Magical Cheese Wizard (@CartoonJonesy) July 16, 2019
10. Living the life.
My 4yo told me she didn’t want to grow up because she didn’t want to wipe her own butt and I could not argue with that.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 17, 2019
11. Well, there’s a good idea!
Yesterday I convinced my 6 year old son I could see his memories by looking into his ear directly at brain.
He was amazed talking about, “What else do you see mama?!” as I told him things we were both there for.
Parenting is fun
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) July 15, 2019
12. Well, this is certainly awkward.
Me: 💨
2yo: U poo poo?
Me: No, fart.
2yo: poo poo
Me: It's a fart.
2yo: POO! POO!
Me: it's just a-
2yo: POO! POO!
Me: *checks*
Me: You were right.
— La Guardia Cross (@LaGuardiaCross) July 16, 2019
13. Where’s the section that tells you what to do for this?
I just bought a day planner but here’s the thing- I handed my 6yo his swim shorts and said we had 5 minuets to leave. He went and soaked them in the bathtub because he thought they looked dirty. Then refused to put them on until they dried.
Someone tell me how to plan for this.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) July 16, 2019
