Adult Care and Senior Care: Rules to Discuss Before You Hire

As you start interviewing prospective caregiver candidates, it’s a good idea to take some time to determine your house rules as they relate to caring for your aging loved one.

The simple act of defining and solidifying your expectations will go a long way toward helping you identify the candidates who are the best fits for your loved one’s needs. Additionally, by making these guidelines clear from the very beginning, you’re helping both yourself and your future caregiver avoid any misunderstandings further down the road.

Below is a sample list of house rules to get you started. Personalize it based on your needs, or on those of whomever will be receiving care. Once you’ve found your ideal caregiver and made the offer, make sure to put all of these house rules and expectations in your senior care contract. Don’t have one? Check out our Adult and Senior Care Contract template.

Your Next Steps:

Copy the text below and paste it into a Word document
Look it over and figure out what rules you should include for your family and situation. If possible, get input from your loved one. His or her preferences are important
Go over the rules with your caregiver candidates and let them ask any questions they may have.
When you’ve made your hire, print out two copies of the rules, sign both, and ask your caregiver to do the same — then you each keep a copy
Create an adult and senior care contract, and include these house rules as an appendix.
Sign up for a payroll account to make handling payment and adult and senior care taxes easier.

DOWNLOAD A PDF VERSION OF THESE RULES

Adult and Senior Care Rules

Note: This is a document that the family and adult or senior caregiver will work with and develop together. The goal is for family members to take time to fill out this document at the start of the relationship, but update it as the loved one’s needs develop and change — and the trust grows deeper between family members and the caregiver.

Date:

Family Philosophy:
Describe yourselves and how you want your parent or loved one to be cared for. Explain what is important to you (for instance, caring and compassionate treatment, retaining mom or dad’s dignity, monitoring medications carefully, etc.). How independent is your mom? Will she have a large say in day-to-day needs or does she have dementia and need direction? Describe how much involvement you will have and how much managing you will want to do of your loved one’s daily schedule.

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Family History:
Share a little bit about your family and the history of your loved one (Were they married for 50 years? What was their career or their favorite hobby?), so the caregiver gets to know them.

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Specific Diagnoses:
Does your parent have a medical diagnosis like diabetes, congestive heart failure or dementia? Let your caregiver know the specifics and history here.

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Attention:
Can your loved one be left alone? Some adults and seniors have certain illnesses that require supervision at all times. If this is the case, be very clear with your caregiver about this. What steps should your caregiver take if another caregiver or family member is late to relieve him or her of their duties?

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Medication Monitoring:
Will the caregiver need to prompt your loved one to take medication at designated times? What happens if your mom or dad refuses to take the medication? See the Daily Schedule for Adult and Senior Caregivers for proper medication schedules and dosages.

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Physical or Cognitive Impairments:
Let your caregiver know of any physical or cognitive impairment your loved one has. If they can’t hear well, the caregiver might need to speak louder. Do they need eye glasses? Does arthritis make getting out of bed difficult? Will your mom or dad know how to follow the caregiver’s instructions without help? If your loved one gets confused or anxious, let your caregiver know and share common triggers best practices for calming mom or dad down.

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Typical Reactions to Receiving Care:
If your loved one is very independent, make sure your caregiver knows when and how to approach with offers of help. Does Dad reject assistance with one activity, but accept it with another? Do you have any tips to offer?

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Handling Behavior Issues:
This is typically a necessary area to cover if your loved one has Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. As mentioned above, you’ll want to let your caregiver know what kinds of situations can trigger difficult behaviors (such as aggression or another emotional state) in your loved one. Triggering situations can be time of day, certain activities, the caregiver’s emotional state and much more.

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Additional Care:
What doctors is your loved one currently seeing or what care or therapies (such as physical therapy) are in progress or anticipated? Do the providers come to the house or will the caregiver need to bring your mom or dad to appointments?

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Eating/Food Preferences or Restrictions:
Discuss meals and snacks and how you want your caregiver to cook and prepare foods throughout the day. This is a good area to instil the importance of mom or dad getting nutritious foods they like and that are acceptable to any dietary restrictions they may have. This is also where you want to note any foods they cannot have because of a food allergy or medical condition. Do they prefer foods at certain temperatures? Do they need assistance of any kind at meal time?

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Breakfast Examples:

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Lunch Examples:

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Snack Examples:

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Dinner Examples:

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Ideas for Eating Out:

Include any places your loved one likes to eat out (even for a short visit, like the coffee shop or an ice cream stand) and indicate how much you will pay for a meal out. Will you also pay for the caregiver’s meal?

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Personal Care Preferences:
List your loved one’s personal care preferences here. When is their preferred bathing time? Do they need assistance? Are they especially modest? Any special considerations?

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Running Errands:
Whether it’s for safety or for social reasons, would you prefer that your loved one accompany the caregiver on errands? Are there any special considerations or equipment needed (for instance, a cane or a walker)? Whose car will the caregiver drive?

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Ideas for Activities and Socializing:
Discuss how engaging and creative you want the caregiver to be. Will you be paying for any classes? Will you be supplying a weekly budget for activities like museum trips? Does mom or dad like to go to a weekly movie, coffee hour or book group?

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Weekly Budget $_______________

In-Home Entertainment Options:
Does mom or dad have a favorite television show? Does he or she like to read, be read to, listen to specific music, play cards, do puzzles, listen to the radio or do crafts? Do they have regular visitors in the home?

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Visitors:
Does your loved one have regular visitors in the home? Who is allowed/not allowed? Are there any restrictions on how long your loved one can have visitors?

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Sleep Preferences:
Talk about your loved one’s typical sleep patterns and needs. Explain any particular rituals or habits your mom or dad likes to follow. Do they need a nap after lunch or following a doctor’s appointment? Should the room be dark? Do they want the temperature warm or cool?

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Communication:
Would you like to hear from the caregiver throughout the day or get overall daily or weekly updates? What particulars do you want to know about immediately? What can wait? Do you want a phone call, text or email? Do you want a written record of the day? How would you like to discuss concerns that arise? Is certain communication required with other paid caregivers? Is the caregiver allowed to discuss your loved one’s care with other relatives? Which ones?

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Time Off:
Describe how you want your caregiver to request vacation or sick days (email or verbal request). How much notice does she need to give you?

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The Caregiver/Family Relationship:
When will you conduct performance reviews (90-days, annually, etc.)? Will you have regular updates and meetings about how the job is going? How do you want your caregiver to feel within your family? What role do you see her playing?

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In an Emergency:
What do you want your caregiver to do in an emergency? After calling emergency services, who else should be notified? List names and numbers here or share this emergency checklist.