Leaving a job on good terms is important in any career. But for child care providers, this can be an even more delicate situation to navigate.
Unlike any other role out there, quitting a babysitting job means leaving a gap that’s hard to fill for the parents who have come to depend on you. Not to mention, it can be emotionally tough attempting to explain why you’re leaving to children who have taken a liking to you and come to rely on you as part of their day-to-day routine.
“It is common for child care providers to feel guilty for quitting a job, especially after forming close relationships with the family and knowing that it can be difficult to find a replacement,” says Madeline Svoboda, a school psychologist based in Tempe, Arizona.
If it’s time for you to move on from your current babysitting role, here’s how to tell someone you can’t babysit anymore while leaving parents and children in the best place possible after your departure.
How to prepare to share that you can’t babysit anymore
You’ve likely spent time reflecting on your reasons for leaving and weighed the pros and cons. Because finding a child care provider is a challenging, personal process, it’s worth evaluating whether or not the issues that are causing you to resign are worth trying to rectify before giving notice.
“It can be annoying to rigorously vet babysitters, and when you have the right one, you want them to stay,” says Aimee White, a 34-year-old mom of two who resides in Wyoming. If you’re quitting because of an issue such as late payments or a child behavior problem, it might be worth initiating a discussion with your client.
If the situation is simply one that can’t be worked out, it’s important to remember when giving your notice that you’re doing what’s best for everyone involved.
Tips for giving your notice as a babysitter
Once you’ve collected your thoughts and are ready to talk about moving on from your babysitting role, here’s how to proceed.
“Scheduling ahead ensures the conversation will not be rushed or interrupted. They may even assume the topic beforehand and have some time to process the information.”
— Madeline Svoboda, school psychologist
Schedule time to speak with the parents
Depending on your current schedule, getting time alone with the parents to give your notice may be tricky. However, Svoboda says it’s important to set an adequate amount of time aside.
“Scheduling ahead ensures the conversation will not be rushed or interrupted,” says Svoboda. “They may even assume the topic beforehand and have some time to process the information, instead of being completely surprised or blindsided when you bring it up.”
Explain why you’re departing
Having a child care provider quit can make parents feel like there’s an issue with their children. White recommends addressing this when giving notice. “If you take the time to explain why you are moving on, [parents] will be more likely to understand,” she says. “Make it clear to them that your decision has nothing to do with them nor their children. Many parents may fear you have left because their kids are causing trouble or that you don’t like them.”
If your reason for leaving does involve the child’s behavior, Ida Pettersson, a career advisor and resume expert at Resume Genius, recommends against bringing it up. “Not every babysitter will get along with every child they babysit, and that’s OK,” she says. “Instead of constantly losing your patience with a child who is likely just as frustrated as you are, give the family the chance to find a babysitter who is better suited for them.”
In order to feel confident in your delivery, Svoboda recommends practicing the conversation about quitting by yourself or with a friend or family member beforehand to build confidence. Keep the focus on your personal reasons for departing to drive home the point that this is in the best interest of everyone involved.
It can also help to journal, write a list, meditate or talk with someone you trust about your reasons for quitting before discussing it with the family, says Svoboda.
“Caregiving or babysitting requires trust to be built in the families. It is therefore important that you show them kindness.”
— Laura Herman, certified caregiver facilitator
Provide as much notice as possible
In most professional settings, giving an employer two weeks’ notice is considered a sufficient amount of time before moving on to another role. However, vetting caregivers for children can be a much lengthier process.
Laura Herman, a certified caregiver facilitator, recommends providing as much notice as you’re able to — up to one month if possible. “Caregiving or babysitting requires trust to be built in the families,” explains Herman. “Many families try different babysitters before settling for one. It is therefore important that you show them kindness and tell them about your unavailability beforehand.”
If you have a replacement recommendation, offer it
Hiring someone to care for your child is a personal process. Though you should not feel responsible for finding your replacement, if you’ve worked in child care for some time and know someone looking for work who might be able to take over for you — even in the interim — offering a recommendation can make parting ways easier on both the parents and yourself.
“You are saving the family time and eliminating stress for them; you can also rest assured the children you care about will be in good hands with someone you are personally familiar with,” says Svoboda.
Let parents decide the best way to tell their kids
Once you’ve given your notice, explained your reason for departure and (hopefully) have arrived at a good place with the parents you babysit for, ask them how they prefer to let the kids know.
“When breaking the news to the kids, you need to be aware of the children’s needs,” says Hicks. “Respect the way their parents want to tell them and follow their lead since the parents will be dealing with the aftermath after you leave.”
Make a plan to keep in touch
Children will likely feel better about your departure if you offer (as much as you’re comfortable) to find ways to continue the relationship. “You may want to stay connected through social media, send birthday presents, occasionally attend the child’s extracurricular events or simply meet up a few times a year,” says Svoboda.
Avoid feeling guilty (as much as possible)
“If you have a good relationship with a parent whose child you babysit, quitting can be hard,” says White. “However, many parents understand the temporary nature of the role, and while perhaps frustrated, they will understand if you move on.”
Change is hard for everyone — especially children. But don’t stay in a role just because of your guilt about leaving. Doing what’s best for yourself will ultimately be what’s best for everyone involved.
Svoboda recommends remediating guilty feelings by focusing on your logical reasons for quitting. “Are you pursuing more lucrative career opportunities or furthering your education? Maybe you are simply feeling ready for change or looking for work that aligns with your interests or schedule,” she notes. “Rest assured that prioritizing your own needs is essential for your well-being. Ultimately, the family will benefit from a caregiver more fitted for the position.”
