The rules for babysitters are different in every household, but one parent has stirred up a debate on TikTok by asking a surprising question: What should you do if you find out your babysitter is sleeping on the job?
Danielle Mitchell, who goes by the username The Researched Mom on social media, says she and her husband left their 10-month-old son with a babysitter for the first time while they went out for a date night. Everything was going smoothly until Mitchell checked the feed from one of the cameras she has installed in her house and saw that the babysitter was fast asleep on the couch.
Is it normal for babysitters to fall asleep?
“We usually don’t leave to go on date nights until the baby is fully asleep,” Mitchell explains in a TikTok video that’s since been deleted. “I tried to put him down and my husband tried to put him down, but he just really wanted to be held. [The sitter] rocked him for, like, 15 minutes, we left and he was asleep for the rest of the night … We have cameras throughout our house, so around 9:00 I check the cameras, and it looks like she’s asleep on the couch.”
Mitchell and her husband weren’t sure what to do. They worried the baby might cry and the sitter wouldn’t be awake to hear it. They tried texting her to see if she would wake up.
“She told me that she was going to listen to a book, so I was like, ‘OK, maybe she’s just lying on the couch and listening to her book,'” Mitchell says. “But our dog was still outside, and it was 9:00 at night, so I texted her, ‘Hey, do you mind bringing the dog inside because it’s dark?’ We watched the cameras to see if she would move or anything, but she didn’t.”
Feeling uneasy, Mitchell and her husband decided to call it a night. They went home, and when they walked in, the babysitter didn’t even notice. “As soon as we walk in the door, it takes her a second to wake up,” Mitchell says. “I had left a sound monitor [with her], so I was thinking maybe she left the sound monitor on at loud volume and just fell asleep on the couch so she definitely would hear him, but no. The sound monitor wasn’t on.”
Mitchell was left unsettled by the whole thing, so she asked other parents: “Is it normal for your babysitter to fall asleep when they’re watching your kids?”
What do parents think about babysitters falling asleep?
Mitchell’s post touched a nerve in the parenting space, racking up over 16,000 comments. Some parents who’ve responded say they don’t have a problem with the idea of sitters resting on the job.
“Dad of five here,” one person wrote. “Unless your child has some at-risk medical condition, it’s fine for the babysitter to sleep, in my opinion.”
“[This is] definitely a first time parent overreaction and that’s OK,” another added. “He was asleep and safe. We all take a bit to wake up when asleep, even as parents.”
Others say that while they don’t have a problem with a babysitter falling asleep, they do take issue with the fact that the baby monitor wasn’t switched on.
“If the kid(s) are asleep, it is normal for the babysitter to fall asleep,” one person wrote. “However, the monitor should have been on and turned all the way up.”
Is it unprofessional to sleep when you’re babysitting?
Professional babysitters and nannies also flocked to Mitchell’s now-private TikTok page. Some say the babysitter made a major error and shouldn’t be asked to watch the baby anymore.
“I used to babysit a lot as a teenager,” one person said. “I would never sleep at someone’s house while on the job. And that’s even when the kids are older.”
“I would not use her again,” another person added. “I used to babysit and did not ever sleep while doing my job. If you did that on a job outside [outside the house] you would be fired.”
Others say that they’ve fallen asleep on the job before, and it isn’t a big deal as long as the children are safe.
“I babysat a lot as a teen, and I often fell asleep after the kids,” one wrote. “As a parent now, I would 100% be okay with this as long as the doors are all locked.”
Setting expectations about sleep for sitters
Unless they’re hiring an overnight babysitter, there are a lot of reasons why parents might be uncomfortable with a babysitter sleeping on the job. As Mitchell noted in a follow-up post, not only could a sleeping sitter miss a baby’s cries, but they’re also getting paid to supervise the household while the parent is away.
“I’m his mother, so I’m a little bit more attuned to him than just a random person,” she says when asked why it’s OK for parents to sleep but not sitters. “If he wakes up crying, I’m literally up in a split second. Second, I’m not getting paid, but I am paying the babysitter.”
There’s no hard and fast rule about babysitters falling asleep once the kids are in bed, but parents do have the right to expect hired caregivers to follow the house rules. In the case of a sleeping babysitter, communication might help prevent potentially awkward situations. A safe option is for parents and sitters to chat about what’s expected during caregiving hours and once the kids are asleep. Making sure you’re both clear on the expectations can set your minds at ease and make the entire night (or day) go a lot more smoothly.
