A photo of a smiling baby is the latest source of internet controversy, and it’s all because his mom decided to let him wear a bow. Bekah Martinez, a former contestant on “The Bachelor,” recently shared a photo of her grinning 3-month-old son Franklin surrounded by small pumpkins and wearing a giant bow on his head. But it wasn’t the fall vibes or sweet baby grin that commenters noticed. Immediately, people took issue with the fact that Franklin’s bow made him look “like a girl.”
The sweet photo appeared on Martinez’s Instagram, where it quickly racked up nearly 800 comments. Unfortunately, many of those comments are from people criticizing Martinez and accusing her of trying to make her son “confused” about his gender.
“Omg this boy is going to be so confused when he’s older about why his mother dressed him as a girl,” one person writes. “I couldn’t imagine if my mother dressed me in boy clothes I would be pissed looking at my baby photos.”
“Truly, I’m confused why you’d put a bow on a boy,” another person adds. “If you want to maintain neutrality, do it in private. He’s obviously not old enough to decide if a bow is what he wants. Stop confusing kids before they have a choice!”
Thankfully, plenty of people are also defending Martinez and pointing out that it really doesn’t matter if an item of clothing is made for boys or girls, especially when a baby is wearing it.
“Hate to break it to you, but back in the day pants were ‘boy clothes,’” one person writes. “Get over yourself, and leave this baby alone. He’s not going to grow up confused. He’s going to grow up with a mom who loves him and likes to dress him up in cute outfits.”
The controversy only proves what a contentious issue gendered clothes, toys and other baby gear and traditions have become among parents. Many parents subscribe to strict ideas about gender, but others have begun to question trends like gender reveal parties and heavily gendered clothes and accessories that force stereotypes on young kids.
Research shows that forcing gender roles on kids can actually have a negative impact on their wellbeing. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that growing up with rigid social constructs around gender reinforces sexist beliefs about the differences between boys and girls and can increase the likelihood of early pregnancy, health problems and even suicide among young tweens.
In an Instagram story captured by People, Martinez responded to critics and said she wants to “normalize” the idea that kids don’t need to dress in clothes, play with toys or behave in a way that conforms to gender stereotypes.
“With [my] leg hair, with putting Frank in a bow, with whatever the hell else I post, I want to challenge people’s ideas of what’s right or wrong, or what you should or shouldn’t do,” she explained. “I think we should normalize being able to put boys in bows and things that are ‘girly.’ What … is ‘girly’ about a bow? It’s literally a piece of ribbon or fabric tied in a certain way. That’s dumb.”
