The 9 best parenting tweets of the week

My husband & I like to party & by party I mean turn on Netflix around 8pm & hope to stay awake for a half hour.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 27, 2019

https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/1132757305085308929

I keep trying to type “road trip with kids” and auto correct keeps changing it to “most disgusting public bathroom tour.”

— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) May 28, 2019

My 3yo can either be found streaking butt-naked in front of a giant crowd of strangers, or shyly hiding behind my back and trying to crawl back inside my womb. There is no in-between.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) May 29, 2019

My favorite part of going to the park is asking my kids 37 times before we leave to go to the bathroom, and then spending 12 minutes in a hot park bathroom while they poop.

— Mom (@OhThatMomGlow) May 26, 2019

It’s always “Did you pack the kids’ lunch and take care of that bill like I asked?” and never “Did you watch Netflix and eat a whole row of Oreos like I asked?”

— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 29, 2019

I’d be better at disciplining our 3yo if he didn’t laugh in my face while I did so, and also if it weren’t so INSUFFERABLY ADORABLE.

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) May 29, 2019

Checked my 7th grader out early on the last day of school so she could get a head start on being bored.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 29, 2019

Having kids would be easier if they didn’t have to eat so often.

— Dad Bits (@DadBits) May 29, 2019