How to ease the transition to assisted living

Once you decide that moving to assisted living is the best choice for yourself or your loved one, you’re often faced with a new challenge: how to make the transition from home to assisted living as smooth as possible.

Some of the biggest challenges for seniors include loss of familiarity and fears about losing independence, says Moti Gamburd, CEO of Raya’s Paradise, a residential senior care community. “Seniors are leaving a space filled with memories, routines and a sense of control,” he explains. “Even when they know the move is necessary, it can feel overwhelming.”

Additionally, family members may experience guilt or second-guessing, even if they are confident this is the right decision for their loved one. “There is an emotional weight to moving a loved one out of their home,” Gamburd adds. “If these feelings are not addressed, they can create resistance and stress, making the transition harder for everyone.”

Of course, there are also practical concerns that both seniors and their loved ones face, including downsizing, the move itself, setting up the new living space and adjusting to new routines. Here, we’ll go over everything you need to know, including expert tips on how to ease the transition to assisted living for everyone involved.

Planning the transition to assisted living

It’s never too early to start planning for the transition to assisted living, says Amy Goyer, author and AARP’s family and caregiving expert.

Goyer says that it’s typically best to start planning long before a decision is made to move. That’s because there is often a lot of work to do — both practically and emotionally — in the weeks and months leading up to the big move into your selected assisted living facility.

Downsizing and packing

The first practical tasks to focus on are downsizing your home and packing it up for the move. But these tasks aren’t just time-consuming. “Downsizing is a very emotional and often overwhelming experience,” Goyer notes.

Goyer offers the following tips to make the downsizing and packing process as efficient and comfortable as possible:

• Make a plan: Before you start downsizing, have a family meeting about how you will do it.
• Get organized: Consider having an organizing system in place, such as sorting belongings into categories (keep, donate, sell and trash).
• Go room by room: As you finish each room, you will see results and have a sense of accomplishment.
• Honor keepsakes and memories: Take photos and create digital or tangible scrapbooks of treasured items that won’t come along to assisted living.

If your loved ones have lots of stuff to sort through, consider hiring a professional organizer to help. You might also consider hiring a moving company for seniors specifically. The National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) has a directory to find one.

Managing emotions 

It’s common for seniors and their families to feel fear, uncertainty and grief about saying goodbye to a home they’ve known and loved for years. Seniors often feel a deep sense of losing control, including control of their bodies as they age and their health status changes, Goyer notes.

Her advice? “Validate those feelings, listen and be empathetic,” she says. Practice self-compassion, too, as you move through potential feelings of guilt, worry and stress over this transition.

“Create a sense of routine right away. Setting up a daily schedule for meals, activities and social time can help you feel more settled.”

— Moti Gamburd, CEO, Raya’s Paradise

How to ease the transition to assisted living: Tips for seniors

Adjusting to assisted living can be challenging for everyone involved, but seniors often have different challenges than their loved ones. Here, experts share tips for seniors who are moving into assisted living.

1. Make the new space feel homey

Try to make their new space as familiar as possible. “It should have the feel of their old home, in terms of familiar items,” says Goyer. 

You can even arrange the space in a similar way as their old home. “When my parents moved, I tried to set up their apartment similar to the layout of their living room at home,” Goyer shares.

2. Slowly increase your engagement

You’ll want to get involved with community events and classes at the facility, but it’s a good idea to ease in slowly, suggests Dr. Michael Kane, a psychiatrist with expertise in family medicine and chief medical officer at Indiana Center for Recovery.

“Come a few days before the move so that the assisted living community does not feel overwhelming,” he recommends. “Use this time to socialize by attending functions or meeting your neighbors.” 

3. Establish routines

“Create a sense of routine right away,” Gamburd recommends. “Setting up a daily schedule for meals, activities and social time can help you feel more settled.”

You can make an effort to make these activities similar to your old routine, in terms of wake-up time, your daily schedule and wind-down rituals at night. But also be open to new experiences that might happen in the middle of the day as you mingle with residents and try out activities. 

4. Start to socialize early

One of the most valuable aspects of assisted living is that you will have a built-in social life, which is important for seniors, who often struggle with loneliness and isolation when living alone. Still, it can be overwhelming to socialize at first, which is why Gamburd recommends starting with small social interactions early on.

“Meeting just one or two residents can make a big difference in feeling connected to the community,” he says. “Seniors who start engaging within the first week tend to adjust much faster than those who isolate themselves at the beginning.”

Transitioning to assisted living: Advice for families

Family members often look for ways that they can help ease their loved one into the assisted living community. Here are some expert-approved ways to help.

1. Attend activities with your loved one

Goyer’s advice is to consider attending some activities together with your loved one, especially at first. Have a meal with them in the dining room or attend a class with them. “I believe it’s helpful for family members to go with them sometimes at first — it helps them feel more safe and comfortable until they get the hang of it.” 

“Frequent but short visits in the first few weeks allow seniors to feel supported while also giving them space to establish independence.”

— Moti Gamburd

2. Stay involved without hovering

Once you’ve helped your loved one ease into their new space, it’s time to take a step back and allow them to find their footing. But you also want to continue to be an emotional touchstone for your loved one. “Frequent but short visits in the first few weeks allow seniors to feel supported while also giving them space to establish independence,” Gamburd says. 

3. Have them host you

One way to make your loved one feel a sense of ownership and pride in their new home is to have them host you in their new space. “If there is a family dining room, have some family gatherings there,” Goyer suggests. “It will emphasize the fact that they can still host gatherings.”

One final tip from a senior care expert

Adjusting to assisted living can be hard, but the rewards are typically abundant, with seniors often enjoying new friendships, a myriad of enriching activities and the assistance with daily living offered by the facility. Still, some seniors may struggle with the change. It’s important to stay connected to family during this transition and seek out help if seniors are struggling emotionally.  

“If a senior is showing signs of prolonged distress like withdrawal, refusal to eat, or signs of depression, it may be time to bring in a professional,” says Gamburd. Consider reaching out to a social worker, therapist or geriatric care manager to help ease emotional resistance and provide coping strategies.

“Families often underestimate the emotional toll of this process, and professional support can make the transition a positive one,” Gamburd concludes.