Whether they’re working or staying at home, many moms end up putting their own interests on the backburner in order to care for their kids. Although it’s a natural response to parenthood, this kind of deprioritization can have really negative consequences on any parent’s physical and mental health. Studies have shown that having some kind of hobby (i.e., an activity that you do just for you and your happiness) can help people relieve stress and anxiety just as much as exercise can. Your hobby can be something as active as rowing, or as low-key as knitting; the key here is that it needs to be something you truly enjoy.
While it sounds wonderful to be able to block out several hours a week to work on your hobby, it may not always be realistic for some parents — especially for those moms with small children.
“People tend to overestimate what they can do in a short time, but greatly underestimate what they can do over a long period when they are consistent at their craft,” said Abby Fichtner, a coach and “Hacker in Residence” at the Harvard Innovation Lab.
Need Hobby Ideas? Here Are Five to Get You Started
Kaytlyn Sanders, life coach at Beneficial Habits, suggested the following hobbies for moms who feel like they’re short on free time:
1) Photography
Instagram doesn’t count. After dropping off your child, or even while visiting a park with kids who don’t need constant supervision, take photos. These aren’t for sharing on social media but for you to use either as desktop photos on your computer or actually printed. It’s good to keep some things to yourself.
2) Start Swimming
Keep your body energized. Find time at the start of an errand run while you have a sitter, in the mornings before family wakes up for the day, or when your spouse gets home after work. If you swim for about a half hour, you can do this more frequently and not feel like you are stealing hours away from your family. Swimming should be enjoyed every few days to keep your body feeling good.
3) Attend the Theater or a Concert
Over time, as your kids grow older, exposing them to performance arts is great. But you should still be able to go see a musical artist or a theatrical performance if you have small children. Consider a season pass with your partner, where tickets are less expensive and can be regularly scheduled and on your calendar.
4) Go for a Daytrip
Take the pressure off travel by only going for the day (an hour or two maximum drive time) so everyone is back home at the end of the day and you don’t have to make overnight plans. Going with your significant other to see local natural wonders can give you breathing space without the costs and logistics of planning longer getaways. If travel was your pre-kids hobby, keep it up in a smaller way.
5) Share Activities With Your Children
Try things like painting, dancing, yoga, and hiking. Set up paint stations. If you’re a serious artist, keep your special, more expensive paints separate so you can all enjoy the activity together. Short hikes or walks can help you focus while also showing the kids how to stay active outside.
No matter what you choose to do, it’s always important to schedule your hobby. Make sure you have time to do it regularly. Your happiness depends on it!
How to Start Your Hobby — And Make It Stick
Whether you’re picking up an old hobby or starting a new one, you’ll first need to determine how much time you can spend per day. Do you have 15, 20, or 30 minutes a day? Once you know that number, be consistent and disciplined about it.
Fichtner said if you only have 15 minutes to work on something, you can’t spend 10 of it locating your favorite pen and journal to write in. Have these items ready to go as soon as you sit down. Make sure it’s a space where you can be without interruption.
“Let everyone know that when mommy has her door closed, that’s her time for creating and is not to be disturbed for any reason short of the house burning down,” she said.
This will show your children the importance of taking time for yourself and exercising creativity.
It’s always important to have a calendar to keep track of things. Can you do your hobby at the same time every day or most days? Almost anything can wait 15 or 30 minutes.
“It’s more important that you block the time and sit down in your place with your environment setup then it is to spend the full 30 minutes on it,” Fichtner said.
Sanders believes that allowing the cleaning, cooking, and everyday child care routines to overrun your identity will only cause you to feel out of touch with who you are at your core. That leads to more feelings of resentment, she said.
No matter what you choose to do, it’s always important to schedule your hobby. Make sure you have time to do it regularly. Your happiness depends on it!
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