A mother’s note to her daughter after the daughter felt like she “failed” a test is going viral for its sweet message: Well-being trumps grades.
“Our relationship is based upon trust and love,” Hannah Cho told BuzzFeed. “She never asks me to do homework, asks for my grades or do chores because she trusts me to do so.”
Recently, the teen had a difficult math test and decided to study for it the whole day and night before, she said.
“My ultimate goal was to get the perfect GPA, a 4.0,” she added. “So getting a B for me personally was unacceptable.”
After she had taken the test, Cho sent her mom a message on the social media site Snapchat that said she had “failed.” Cho said her mom uses Snapchat to communicate with her and her sister.
The mother’s response to her daughter’s perceived failure was celebrated online for its supportive tone.
Cho’s mom wrote, “I don’t care if you fail your math test … I don’t care if you get below 1,00 on [your] SAT … I don’t care if your GPA is under 2.00 … I don’t care if you don’t get accepted to Stanford … BUT … I care if you cry … I care if you are stressed … I care if you are unhappy … I care when you get hungry even if you get hungry every 2 hours … I admit … it can get tiring feeding you constantly … But I Love You.”
Obviously, she knew her daughter had been stressed about her classes, grades and college, which is very common for teenagers.
“Even failing a test like this, my mom encouraged me with her positivity to try my hardest in school,” Cho said.
Speaking of Stanford, a former dean at the Ivy League school has spoken out numerous times about her desire for parents to behave more like Cho’s mom and reduce the pressure they put on kids about grades.
Julie Lythcott-Haims, Stanford University’s former dean of freshmen, wants parents to ditch the checklist of things their kids must do to be considered a success.
For kids, she said they should, “Be kind, work hard, think for yourself and choose the college that’s right for you, and when you get there study what you love.”
Lythcott-Haims said the alternative results in increased rates of anxiety and depression in kids.
“The mental health professionals are crying out about what is going on with our youth,” Lythcott-Haims told the Kitsap Sun. “This issue of enhanced performance at all costs means there is no room for failure, even if failure looks like a B-minus.”
Thankfully, Cho and her mom are leading by example for families everywhere.
“Not only is she my mom, but she is truly my best friend,” Cho said.
