It’s not clear when the sticker chart became a preferred tool for ensuring that young children would do what their parents asked, but it’s no surprise that they caught on — they work.
Or so it seems.
“They do work in many, many cases,” clinical psychologist Erica Reischer told Care.com. “It’s just the long-term implications that are really problematic in terms of how it affects children’s mind-sets and, particularly, their views about relationships.”
The sticker charts that Reischer takes issue with are the ones that reward children with stickers for good behavior then allow the children to “spend” their stickers on treats and activities.
The activities these charts track range from simple tasks like brushing your teeth every morning and making the bed to more involved ones like helping a sibling in need or doing something kind for a friend.
“The risk is that you create a transactional mind-set. You do this for me and I give you this. … It’s a tit-for-tat kind of thing. But with social norms, we do things because it’s the right thing to do, it’s good, it imbeds us in a community.”
In a recent article she wrote on the subject for The Atlantic, Reischer detailed what it can look like when the reward-based sticker charts fail to teach children social norms required to understand the importance of doing kind things for others:
“One mother who was initially pleased with the results of her sticker-chart system said that when she asked her 8-year-old son to stop what he was doing and help his younger brother clean up a spill, he responded: “What will you give me?”
Another couple in one of my parenting classes also struggled when their reward system stopped working. “We told our daughter that she could earn extra points toward her goal of getting a new phone if she would help us clean the kitchen after dinner, but she just said, ‘No, thanks.’ Now what?”
That’s what a “reward economy” can look like at home when “kids expect something when they do what you ask, and that’s probably not a model most parents want to have,” Reischer said.
But don’t pack up the stickers just yet. There is a healthier way to use them.
“One thing that I do like as an alternative is what some people call a tracking chart,” Reischer said. “A tracking chart basically is kind of like an adult to-do list. We don’t get anything for crossing off our to-do list but there’s satisfaction in seeing all the things that we did.
“On a tracking chart, you could be putting a sticker up to say, ‘Look, you brushed your teeth,’ but you don’t get to exchange the sticker for anything; its just a visual reminder.”
The differences between the two charts may seem subtle, but Reischer said the simple step of removing the reward system attached to the stickers helps children focus on the deed or task at hand rather than the reward they are getting for it. This approach helps to raise children who are more likely to do the right thing simply because it’s right.
