I have a 14-year-old daughter, and I gotta say that we don’t always see eye to eye. In fact, last school year was terrible because she kept lying to me about her homework. I didn’t always handle it right and want to share my story and help other parents know what to do.
Here’s the story.
In our house, my kids have to do homework before they get screen time. My daughter kept telling me last year that she didn’t have homework, and I believed her until her report card came. She was failing two classes! When I confronted her, she insisted that her teacher made a mistake. Naturally, I investigated and found out that for weeks she had not been turning in her homework. Her grades were her fault.
And I freaked out. I took her phone and grounded her until her grades improved. I also lectured her about trust. I explained that she wouldn’t succeed in life if she kept lying to me and others.
In hindsight, I wish I would have reacted differently. If I could do it over, I’d stay calm and ask for her side of the story instead of jumping to conclusions and punishing her right away. My reaction actually pushed her away and damaged our relationship for a long time.
Of course, she needed to be punished. But I hope I’ve learned my lesson and will be able to stay calm and talk to her if she lies to me again. I want to have a relationship where we communicate, talk through issues and solve problems quickly.
Today, my daughter and I are still struggling to heal our relationship. She knows that I don’t completely trust her and hates that I check up on her every week. That’s normal for teenagers and parents, though. And hopefully she’s learning to tell the truth.
