Most parents are familiar with the top social media platforms amongst adolescents: YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram. But Discord, a voice, video and chat service, might fly under the radar with many adults, due to the fact that only 28% of teens use it, according to the Pew Research Center. Initially started as a communication tool primarily aimed at the gaming community in 2015, Discord has now made its way to a wider audience, with 150 million monthly users utilizing it for everything from gaming to school study groups, dating to therapy support. And this increase in popularity and reach can leave parents asking themselves, “Is Discord safe for kids?”
To that, Titania Jordan, chief parenting officer for Bark Technologies and author of “Parenting in a Tech World”, answers with a resounding no. “The amount of inappropriate content on the platform is truly frightening,” she says. “Any time millions of strangers gather on the internet, there is going to be wildly different types of content, some of which is bound to be distasteful, inappropriate, offensive and potentially dangerous.”
Below, Jordan and other experts offer tips and tricks for navigating Discord safely.
What is Discord?
With its simple chatroom-style format for video, voice and text chat and its ability to create groups (called servers) for interest-specific communities or groups of friends and/or family, Discord’s popularity is not surprising. And while many of these servers are small and invite-only, there are also larger groups that are public, allowing users to branch out and explore other topics.
Discord is designed to make it easy to “hang out” with friends while playing video games, streaming videos, listening to music and more, almost as if they were in the same room with you, so its appeal toward a younger audience, who got used to hanging out with friends virtually during the pandemic, is understandable.
“The amount of inappropriate content on the platform is truly frightening. Any time millions of strangers gather on the internet, there is going to be wildly different types of content, some of which is bound to be distasteful, inappropriate, offensive and potentially dangerous.”
— Titania Jordan, chief parenting officer for Bark Technologies and author of “Parenting in a Tech World”
Is Discord safe for kids?
As with most other social media sites, thanks to the Child Online Privacy Protection Act, Discord’s current age restriction is 13 years old. However, as Jordan notes, there is little to prevent someone younger from accessing the platform. She also points out that other countries require minimum ages of up to 16 years old, which she feels is more appropriate. After all, anyone using Discord could be exposed to the following types of content.
Cyberbullying
Even if you try to limit who your children communicate with on Discord (more on that later), bullying can still take place within friend groups. One of the benefits of utilizing a Discord server for its chat function is that it can be kept private, meaning only those who are invited can participate. And while your child communicating with real life friends via Discord is a safer place than the public servers, Jordan warns that there are still dangers to be found there. “Kids can invite friends of friends, for example,” she notes. “And even within friend groups there can be cyberbullying, the sharing of inappropriate content and links and more.”
Marc Berkman, chief executive officer at the Organization for Social Media Safety agrees that cyberbullying on Discord is a serious issue. “We had one fifthgrade child recently tell us that she was ideating on suicide because users on Discord were telling her to harm herself,” he says. “The real question is not whether Discord is safe for children, as it is objectively not, but whether some parents feel the benefits of their child’s specific use of Discord may outweigh the risks.”
Predators
“Unfortunately, any time kids have access to a chat feature, no matter the app, there is always the potential for online predation,” says Jordan.
Despite protective features like Discord’s terms of service and their Trust and Safety team, Jordan says there are still “adult” servers that contain graphic and sexual content and are relatively easy for minors to access. “If you wouldn’t drop your kid off at a bar with 65 random adult strangers to hang out with, you shouldn’t let them frequent Discord servers with a similar population, either,” she advises.
Drug trafficking
According to Berkman, drug trafficking is another serious concern when it comes to adolescents using Discord. In fact, a recent research article in Contemporary Drug Problems stated Discord has been used to establish local drug-selling groups on servers, which can then be joined via an invite link. The article adds that “the emergence of Discord drug servers illustrates how the evolution of social media platforms presents their users with new spaces that can be adapted to function as drug markets.”
How to keep your kids safe on Discord
As with most social media sites, there are both drawbacks and benefits to joining Discord. There is the possibility of connection with like-minded people, but also bullying, drug trafficking and sexual extortion. So if you do decide to allow your children to access Discord, the experts we spoke to advised doing the following.
Find out why they want to use it
Before freaking out when your child comes to you asking to use Discord, Jordan advises getting curious about why they want it. “A lot of kids just want Discord so they can voice chat during multiplayer video games,” she says. And if that’s the case, she suggests offering safer platforms like FaceTime or Zoom, “or even old-school conference calls from a regular phone,” she adds.
And if it’s the private chats they’re after, she advises checking out GroupMe — a video, voice and chat platform that operates on a smaller scale than Discord — or “similar apps that don’t have access to millions of strangers like Discord.”
Set ground rules
While this can look different for different families, Jordan suggests setting boundaries with your children as to how they use Discord. Here are some of her suggestions:
- No chatting with people they don’t know.
- No sharing of personal information (like school name, age or address).
- No using Discord after certain hours.
Utilize Discord’s Family Center parental controls
One feature that Discord has that at least gives the illusion of safety for parents and their children is the Family Center. If you implement those parental controls, you’ll be able to see your child’s recently added friends, servers they join or participate in and what users they are messaging or calling. However, this requires your child to agree to link accounts, and they can disconnect it, as well, at any point without parental permission. Discord stops short of allowing parents to control that function or to make changes to what or who their child accesses, claiming that the Family Center is a tool to help parents have conversations with their teens about safe usage of the platform.
Consider third-party safety software
While Discord’s Family Center is better than nothing, both Jordan and Berkman recommend taking it one step further by utilizing third-party software to monitor activity. In the case of Discord, something like Bark “can help parents protect their kids by monitoring the text portion of channel chat messages, group direct messages and individual direct messages,” says Jordan.
If Bark finds something concerning in their child’s activity on Discord, it will send the parents an alert, adds Jordan. However, it is important to note that this monitoring can only be done on Android devices, as iOS devices prevent that type of monitoring.
“If your gut is saying ‘no,’ you don’t need any logical reasons to justify your position. Trusting your gut instinct and teaching your kids to do the same is one of the foundational ways to protect your children online.”
— Fareedah Shaheed, an internet safety expert
Keep the lines of communication open
Fareedah Shaheed, an internet safety expert, advises approaching your child in an open, honest and non-judgmental way. “Once a safe space is developed, it’s easier to understand how your child uses Discord and how they can navigate safely based on their personal activities and goals,” she says.
In addition to cementing yourself as a safe space and reliable resource to your child, Shaheed recommends talking to your child about recognizing people who don’t mean well “and what to do if they feel uncomfortable with an online interaction.” Parents should “ensure [their child knows] how to report or block someone and empower them to do so without feeling guilty,” says Shaheed. “Teach them to say ‘no’ and stand their ground with confidence.”
A final word on Discord safety
While it may feel daunting to familiarize yourself with a platform like Discord, the experts we spoke to emphasize how important it is for parents to do so, given concerns like cyberbullying, sextortion and drug trafficking. If you’re considering giving your child access to the platform, being knowledgeable about it can help keep them safe.
Ultimately, parents should “trust [their] gut instinct” when making the call on whether or not to allow Discord, recommends Shaheed. “You are the expert on your child,” she says. “If your gut is saying ‘no,’ you don’t need any logical reasons to justify your position. Trusting your gut instinct and teaching your kids to do the same is one of the foundational ways to protect your children online.”
