According to AARP, several studies suggest that isolation is a major health risk for seniors. Now that more people than ever are choosing to age in place and continue to live in their own homes or communities in their later years, isolation is becoming a major issue. However uncomfortable it may be, it’s wise to start thinking and planning ahead to make sure that you or your loved one will have important connections and support systems in place as the aging process continues.
Mary Stehle, LICSW, senior care advisor at Care.com, notes that isolation isn’t just about being lonely, it’s a practical peril. “If you’re alone, you’re not only much more vulnerable to depression, but also to not having your care needs met.” Isolation even increases mortality, so this is a very real concern.
Stehle continues, “It’s incredibly important for people to consider both social connections and tactical supports to promote a safer and more satisfying environment.”
Isolation can be due to friends and family passing or moving away, an inclination to go out less frequently and the decline in participation in everyday activities, like shopping, that offer social contact.
According to a study from the Institute for Health & Aging at the University of California in San Francisco (UCSF), the drive to be independent may actually work against a senior.
“The reluctance to ask for help often goes hand in hand with the pursuit of independent living,” explains Elena Portacolone, Ph.D., an assistant adjunct professor at UCSF who conducted the 2011 study. “Not depending on others and being free to make their own decisions often comes at a great expense.”
The bottom line: staying connected as we age is essential.
Stehle offers these helpful tips for ensuring that you have a good network, no matter where you are.
Assess Personality
“Everybody engages in the world differently,” explains Stehle. “Some people maintain a wide network of relationships throughout their life, while others tend to primarily interact with a few very close friends.”
While you won’t and need not change from introvert to extrovert overnight, you need to be thoughtful and conscious of your social tendencies and how it may impact you as you age.
If a senior in your life is more introverted and no longer has close friends around, consider innocuous ways to introduce socializing, such as joining an exercise class or book club. Read this article for advice on Seniors and Social Life.
Connect Daily
Isolation doesn’t happen overnight. People gradually grow detached from their surroundings and routine contacts, leaving them vulnerable.
Stehle suggests making sure loved ones connect with someone every day, as “engaging with people is important for mental health and cognitive functioning.”
Stay Close to Family and Friends
Family and close friends are likely to be the first line of defense against isolation because they have the ability to be most attuned to any changes in a loved one. Staying in regular contact enables them to more readily notice potential problems before they get serious.
For instance, with early stage dementia, people’s behavior and patterns sometimes change gradually. Ongoing regular connection to someone can help you determine if something is out of the ordinary.
Voice Concerns Now
Even if you stay in contact with loved ones, it’s best to candidly address some important questions today, before they become pressing issues.
“For example, a parent might be assuming they’ll be moving in with their child should something happen,” cautions Stehle. “But, is that actually a possibility?”
Again, it can be a hard discussion to have, but it’s wisest to do it well ahead of time. Need help starting this talk? Here are 9 Strategies to Help a Parent Who Refuses Care
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Other things to consider now:
- What role will friends and family realistically play? Has it been discussed?
- Do you have close, nearby friends in similar situation so you can provide each other with support?
Imagine What Ifs
“I encourage people to think about different scenarios,” Stehle says. For instance, if dementia or stroke runs in the family, what plan and connections could you have in place to make life manageable if illness struck? What if your loved one needs help with bathing and dressing? What if she needs rehab?
These types of issues can be uncomfortable for people to consider, but planning ahead can help avoid hurdles going forward. If you make these decisions while you’re healthy and can offer opinions, it will help you preserve your sense of control and autonomy. Otherwise, if you wait and something does happen, others may be forced to make decisions on your behalf under crisis pressure.
Explore Community and Government Resources
Even with the strongest personal ties, most seniors are likely to need outside help of some kind. Are you familiar with what your community offers? The federal government has a search engine that can help you locate services in your community.
“Resources vary greatly in different towns, counties and states, and also can be determined by other factors, such as income,” Stehle stresses.
It’s a good idea to learn now what your area offers. Here are some helpful things to look for:
- Area Agencies on Aging: Your local county senior agency can be a good starting point to learn about what your community has to offer seniors. Be aware that public information isn’t always very current and that low-cost or free services are often based on financial need and may involve a long waiting list. Click here for a list of local organizations from the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging.
- Senior centers: Seniors centers can vary dramatically from place to place. Even in small towns, some offer extensive resources, including transportation and meals, while others are mainly social clubs that are only open a few hours a week.
- Social clubs: Some clubs — like Lions, veteran organizations and even business groups — offer special activities or support for seniors.
- Churches and synagogues: Many churches offer senior activities or even free handyman services.
- Health care: As you age, you will probably start visiting your local hospital more often. Get a sense of where the rehabilitation centers are located in your area and what health care options are available.
- Housing: It’s a good idea to visit nearby assisted living or senior housing communities to see what’s available. You may even find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Johnny and Jenny Sellner are a couple in their mid-60s who live in Columbia, Maryland. They bought a condo in a 55-plus community not far from their high-maintenance family home and are enjoying a revived social life.
“Our new community offers a lot of advantages, including many opportunities to easily socialize through parties, clubs and fitness classes, right here at our doorstep,” Jenny explains.
Consider Finances
For many seniors, finances are a pressing issue. Be aware that some senior care services — like meal delivery or transportation — may be available for minimal cost, but there may be a long waiting list.
Now may be the time to sit down with your financial planner to discuss your future. Should you revisit your financial and insurance plans to see if you should make new provisions for your security later in life? If you don’t have a financial planner, look for someone in your home community who specializes in retirement planning or working with seniors. Your local senior agency may have referrals or even offer seminars or no-cost counseling.
Many reputable financial firms also offer public education programs free of charge, covering a range of relevant topics. Such events might also be a good way to meet peers at the same stage in life, and exchange ideas and information for aging smart.
Read up on The 3 Most Common Concerns when Paying for Senior Care.
Understanding and building key connections for aging in place can head off problems down the road, and promote a healthier and happier retirement.
Longtime caregiver to her elderly mom, Isabella Yosuico has two young boys of her own, including one with Down syndrome. Formerly in communications management with a Fortune 1000 company, Isabella is now a freelance writer, specializing in health and wellness, and is completing her master’s degree in PR. She resides in an arts colony in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia.
