Do you scramble when your company sends you to a West Coast meeting the same time your partner has a presentation in New Jersey? From your Midwest home base, do you panic about who can hold down the fort, wondering if your nanny can stay overnight? If your life looks a little like this — demanding and unpredictable — a live-in nanny might be the best solution for your child care worries.
“There are important considerations to take into account before hiring a live-in nanny,” says Elizabeth Malson, executive director of the U.S. Nanny Association, adding that, in addition to discussing everything up front and having it in writing via work agreement, it’s smart to have a trial period. “If possible, have a trial before officially having a nanny move in,” she says. “Living together for two weeks and getting to know each other will be advantageous in the event things don’t work out as planned.”
If a test period isn’t a possibility — or even if it is — families should think about the following questions before deciding if a live-in nanny is right.
And when you’re ready, post a job to find the right live-in nanny for your family’s needs.
1. Is your schedule frequently changing?
In families where schedules change all the time due to work, health challenges or other family issues, a live-in nanny can help cover those gaps in child care. If you have an erratic schedule or frequently need overnight care, a live-in can make your life run much smoother.
According to Olivia Fountain, operations manager at the domestic staffing agency, Household Staffing, the majority of families who come to them in search of a live-in nanny are those where both parents work and their schedules are very hectic. “Busy families who often travel for work and who generally need more than 40 hours of child care per week can benefit from a live-in nanny,” she says.
2. Do you have the resources?
In addition to providing a paycheck and potentially overtime to a live-in nanny, many families also provide things like food, a phone and use of the family car, according to Fountain. On top of that, though, live-in nannies need their own room and some space for when they’re not on the clock. “Families looking into hiring a live-in nanny need to be able to create a safe, comfortable environment for them to both work and live,” notes Malson.
Also, keep in mind, while you may not have an issue with your nanny doing their thing in the house when they’re not working, for kids, it’s not so easy. “Live-in nannies need to be respected for their time off and allowed to use common areas without being asked to work,” Malson notes. “This isn’t always easy for kids to understand.”
“Live-in nannies need to be respected for their time off and allowed to use common areas without being asked to work.”
ELIZABETH MALSON, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, U.S. NANNY ASSOCIATION
3. Do you want a live-nanny or an au pair?
As Lynn Ziefle, a career counselor at the Nanny Institute, explains, au pairs are participating in a culture exchange program and can be a great option for families. “Typically, au pairs take on a share of the family’s responsibility for child care, as well as some housework and receive a monetary weekly allowance for personal use,” notes Ziefle. “Au pairs are, by definition, young people from overseas who travel legally to the U.S. to care for children on a cultural exchange visa.”
Hiring an au pair often requires a significant payment upfront and a commit to support an educational experience. Their working conditions are regulated by the U.S. Department of State, so there are rules that must be followed. Ziefle notes that au pairs, who generally only live with a family for one year, are a “great option for families with several young children who have a dedicated space in their home for a live in childcare provider.”
That said, an au pair may not be the best choice for families with very busy schedules. “Hosting an au pair means you get up to 45 hours of child care,” explains Ziefle. “This works for most families, but the 10-hour per day maximum may not work for a family that needs 12 hours of coverage for an extended shift or 24-hour coverage due to business travel.”
4. Do you need an extra set of hands throughout the day?
If you just need someone who can care for your kids after school, a live-out nanny is a good option. But if you need someone who can help out with the day-to-day tasks of raising a family, a live-in nanny is what you need. As long as you’re upfront when you’re looking for a live-in nanny and explain that you need someone who can do occasional light cooking, run a few errands and transport the kids, you should be able to find the help you need.
But if you’re looking for someone to clean the house, you need to hire a housekeeper, not a nanny. “While most nannies are fine with some light cooking for the kids or tidying up and organizing their things, you shouldn’t expect full housekeeping from them,” says Fountain.
“While most nannies are fine with some light cooking for the kids or tidying up and organizing their things, you shouldn’t expect full housekeeping from them.”
OLIVIA FOUNTAIN, OPERATIONS MANAGER, HOUSEHOLD STAFFING
5. Do you travel for work?
A live-in nanny is built-in insurance against the scramble to find overnight child care when you’re on the road. If your nanny lives with you, they’ll be available for those last-minute, unforeseen events, like a sudden overnight business trip. In addition, a live-in nanny is available for early mornings, so they can get any school-age kids up and out the door on time. Also, as Ziefle notes, “since there is no commute to work” there are never any concerns with anyone running late.
It’s also worth noting, as Fountain points out, that live-in nannies generally have set schedules, such as 8 a.m. to 5 p.m or 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. So if a trip comes up and you need extra coverage, they need to be compensated. Additionally, she notes, the possibility of this happening should take place before they’re hired.
6. Are you comfortable with someone living with you?
The biggest benefit of having a live-in nanny — having them there all the time — can also be one of the hardest — they’re there all the time. Fountain notes that, while live-in nannies have helped families she’s worked with over the years immensely, the “lack of privacy” issue is something she hears often. “Live-in nannies of course have their own lives, but families need to realize they’re probably not going to be home alone very often,” she says.
And to that point, keep in mind, a live-in may want to have friends over from time to time or overnight guests. “All of this should be discussed up front,” Malson says. “And if you decide to hire a live-in, expectations and rules should be put in a live-in nanny contract.”
7. Do you feel you’re always behind?
Caring for a family is full-time work and if you work on top of that, you might feel like you can never catch up on everything. Having a live-in nanny can give you a little breathing room, so you don’t have to drop what you’re doing to attend to another family matter. A live-in nanny gives you that buffer zone of time and help. “When you have a live-in nanny, you can quickly run out if something comes up or you need to pick something up at the store,” Fountain notes. “With a live-out, that’s not possible.”
