For many parents, potty training is one of the best and worst parts of parenting. On the one hand, you’re almost finally free from diapers — the many (many) changes, the smell and of course, the cost. Although it’s ultimately rewarding for everyone involved, potty training can be challenging, acknowledges Amanda Gummer, author, child development psychologist and parenting expert. There’s the constant anxiety of wondering if your child needs a toilet right now, feeling like a broken record while you ask if they “have to go” every five minutes, having to clean up accidents and, eventually, the bargaining you have to do with them when they use going to the potty as a power move.
Thankfully, just as you may be apt to lean on your village for other aspects of raising your child, you can find support for potty training and pay a trained specialist to help potty train your child. And while we like to call them gifts from above, angels or miracle workers, their official title is potty training consultant.
Jamie Glowaki, author of “Oh Crap! Potty Training,” says that having a potty training consultant from the get go can be helpful, because they’re able to catch any potential problems right off the bat. “My favorite client is somebody who comes to me before they’ve even started potty training because then we typically have the kid potty trained in two-or-three days since we can troubleshoot as we go,” she explains.
Here’s what parents need to know about hiring a potty training consultant, including what they do, how it works and how to figure out if hiring this kind of coach is right for your child.
What does a potty training consultant do?
A potty training consultant assists parents and caregivers with toilet training a child, says Allison Jandu, a potty training consultant who owns her own potty training consulting business.
In other words, they’re your kid’s go-to potty training coach. Dedicated to helping parents block out all the extraneous information about toilet training they have lobbed at them, they’ll create a plan and help families stick to that plan in order to bolster their success, explains Glowaki.
Although your nanny or daycare provider might be able to assist your child with potty training — and they often will! — a potty training consultant is a professional you can hire separately who will be exclusively dedicated to this particular milestone. They are also certified by going through a program, like Jandu’s. The Institute of Pediatric Sleep & Parenting has a potty training certification program, as does Glowacki.
Jandu’s program, for example, involves about 20 hours of training. Trainees take a performance exam at the end, for which they have three mock clients they prepare consultations for. From there, they get certified — and recertified — annually.
Glowaki likes to work with families for one month at a time. “I can fix anything in a month,” she says. “I use the Walkie Talkie app, and I am in touch with the family daily, because I think being in close contact with the parent allows me to learn more about the child’s personality, which is so important for potty training,” she says.
Regardless of their specific training, a potty training consultant will work with families facing a variety of challenges, from simply not knowing how to get started to experiencing a regression or raising a child who has special needs (whether that’s a disability or a fear of the toilet or elimination), explains Jandu. They’ll then work with each individual family to come up with a plan on a case-by-case basis.
What can you expect at your first visit with a potty training consultant?
Just as every family is unique, every consultant, method and how they’ll communicate is different, says Glowaki. Consulting can be done via email, a phone call or in-person.
But in general, according to Jandu, your first meeting with a potty training consultant will involve a basic intake that will coverr:
- Potty training experience so far.
- Daily routines and schedules.
- Other developmental milestones.
- Any delays, disabilities or medical concerns.
- Your family’s lifestyle.
From there, your potty training consultant may develop an individualized game plan. This could include:
- A timed schedule of times throughout the day (and night) to go potty.
- A timeline of different methods to try — e.g., the first day they’re bottomless, and you run them to the potty when they show signs of needing to go.
- A script of things to say or do to encourage your child.
Once a plan is in place, some consultants will come into the home and work with the child and family in person, offering a more hands-on approach. This is especially useful if your child has a fear of the potty or a physical or mental disability that would require the consultant to physically help them. The consultant will also provide contact information for you to call them for help on the fly.
The whole process may also occur virtually. Jandu says that her particular company has been successfully helping families this way since 2020.
No matter which way you receive help, a great potty training consultant will provide detailed written instructions that parents can refer back to as they are working through the process themselves, explains Jandu.
“Every child and situation is different. I’ve never seen two kids who potty train exactly the same.”
— Jamie Glowaki, author of “Oh Crap! Potty Training”
How to hire a potty training consultant
To hire a potty training consultant, you can search online for local potty training consultants in your area, ask your pediatrician for recommendations, ask a local occupational therapist or even ask friends and family members if they’ve used one.
A few key questions to ask about along the way, according to Jandu:
Do they have insurance and references?
In addition to looking for someone who is certified by a program like those previously mentioned, you want to make sure they’re insured and that their business is in good standing. Ask to speak to references, and see if they have referrals.
What is their experience?
“I recommend working with a consultant that has a lot of experience,” says Jandu. “There are many people out there just kind of doing this on the side, and they might have potty trained their own kids, but they don’t necessarily have experience working with other families or working with challenging cases.”
Do your personalities match?
You also want to make sure your personalities mesh, because you’ll be in close contact with them for a bit (however long it takes for your child to be potty trained), and you also have to make sure your consultant’s values are aligned with yours.
Discuss what techniques the consultant relies on, and consider whether they’re strategies you’re comfortable with. For example, they may be proponents of using laxatives, and you’re more interested in focusing on behavioral methods.
How much does a potty training consultant cost?
In general, Jandu says parents can expect to pay the following for a potty training consultant’s services:
- Simple phone conversation for troubleshooting issues: $100 to $150
- Customized plans (not in person) and ongoing support: $500 to $800
- In-person support and customized plan: $1,000+
That said, rates can vary depending on what level of service you’re getting, points out Jandu. And it obviously varies by consultant.
“Hiring a potty training consultant can be a bit of an investment,” acknowledges Jandu. But if you’ve tried potty training before without success, if you have a child who you can’t seem to get on board with the process or if you have a special needs situation, hiring a consultant can definitely help.
How does a potty training consultant differ from a potty training class?
Typically, parents can attend a group class and learn tips on the proper procedures and timeline for potty training. However, with a potty training consultant, they’ll receive one-on-one guidance, a plan specifically made for their family, access to their consultant via email and text for circumstantial help and potentially also in person support.
If your family hasn’t yet begun the potty training process or is restarting the process from square one, a potty training class can also be “immensely helpful,” says Jandu.
But while potty training classes can help you feel confident in your plan of action, they aren’t as customizable as using a potty training consultant. “You’re not going to get an individual plan,” says Glowaki. “Every child and situation is different. I’ve never seen two kids who potty train exactly the same.”
And getting that one-on-one with a consultant can be a gamechanger for many families, according to Glowaki.
How can I determine if I need to hire a potty training consultant?
Several circumstances in which it makes sense to hire a potty training consultant, according to Dr. Daniel Ganjian, a pediatrician at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California:
- You’ve tried multiple rounds without success.
- You’re in a time crunch for daycare or school and you need your child trained by a certain date because they don’t accept children with diapers.
- Your child has started holding stools for many days at a time.
Additionally, if you’ve started toilet training your child yourself, gone seven to 10 days, and you’re crying, your kid is crying, you’re meeting high resistance and you feel like you just can’t be their teacher at this point, consider hiring a potty training consultant, says Glowaki.
Gummer agrees, noting that if things really are not clicking, and it’s starting to cause you or your child undue stress, you may want to call a consultant.
“Don’t make this like you’re a good parent or a bad parent. Some kids struggle, and potty training is the first time you’re really teaching your child something linear and concrete.”
— Jamie Glowaki, author of “Oh Crap! Potty Training”
The bottom line on hiring a potty training consultant
Remember that the success of potty training is never a measurement of your parenting, says Glowaki. “Don’t make this like you’re a good parent or a bad parent,” she says. “Some kids struggle, and potty training is the first time you’re really teaching your child something linear and concrete.”
Jandu adds, “Everybody’s experience is so different, and every child is so different. So they’re going to handle potty training differently, too. Try to focus on the successes and look for even the smallest steps of progress that you’re seeing in your child.”
And of course, if you feel like you’re in over your head, call a consultant, says Jandu, who concludes, “Many of my clients tell me it’s the best money they’ve ever spent, and they actually were able to enjoy the potty training process.”